my prayer for you

art beach beautiful clouds

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that you experience true love

soaking in the sweetness of being loved for who you are

no matter what your failings, limitations or inabilities that may fill your body

 

that you feel safe in the arms of another

held when you are unsure or scared

lying closely as your heartbeats create a synchronous rhythm of comfort and respect

 

that your hand will be held with gentleness and caring to help guide you through life

you are comforted when ill

and protected when you are weak

 

that you find joy in their presence

your 1,000th kiss will feel like the first

and your day will not be complete without seeing the beauty of your love reflected back in their face

 

 

 

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covered failings

ground group growth hands

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I was out with my entire family, something that rarely happens due to lack of funds and/ or my kids’ busy work, school and activity schedules.

During this rare treasured outing, my husband and I had purchased all of the kids a snack and they were sitting together on a bench eating, smiling, getting along and thanking us for the food.

In that moment, I became completely overwhelmed by what was playing out before me – happy, smiling, joking, loving, grateful, thankful kids.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I had a very hard time keeping myself from breaking down into uncontrolable sobs.  My son looked up at me and said, “mom, please don’t cry”  which made holding back the tears an even bigger challenge.

In the past, many of my tears were more about the guilt I have held onto for so long, raising kids while my illness took a front seat.  Having children before I knew I had these congenital illnesses, and the true horror of discovering that you have passed these nightmares onto the ones you love more than life itself.

But this is not what I was feeling in that moment.  Instead, I was caught up in pure love for my children, the extreme gratitude that God had blessed me with each one of them and felt me worthy of giving me such beautiful humans to care for.  God believed that I was worthy of being their mother, a gift I humbly treasure every – single – day.

Not only has God seen me worthy of such enormous blessings as my children, but that He has also covered over my failings, filled in the numerous cracks that I left as a ill and flawed human being.  He did what I had prayed and prayed that He would do, to make up for my many shortcomings as a parent, and despite my illnesses, allow my kids to grow up to be loving, caring, compassionate and unique individuals.  Prayers answered………and because of these gifts, my heart was too full with awe.  The happiness that flowed through my veins could not be contained within my body but instead flowed over and out my eyes………

They say that the window to one’s soul is through the eyes……….I hope my children could see that the tears were from the love overflowing in my heart for each one of them.

 

~ wendi is the author of two books that you can view here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

shattered

white ceramic teacup with saucer

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the delicate tea cups sit on a shelf

dreaming delightful thoughts of being filled

waiting upon the day to soak in their sweet promises

 

one by one, year after year

the cups crash unto the floor

shattering into hundreds of pieces

leaving an unrecognizable pattern on the floor

too tired and distraught to sweep up the fragments

a graveyard of wishes for me to mourn

 

the last cup sits upon the shelf

teetering

and all i can do is hold my breath

whispering a silent prayer that this one will remain.

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

graveyard

 

brown and black snail crawling on wall

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My graveyard of regrets overflows with markers

The place I would go to bury my unfulfilled hope and dreams

They lie entombed, not as a result of lack of effort or desire

But due to circumstances beyond my control

 

I don’t like to visit this dreadful space – yet it remains outside my front door

So I have made a plan to transform this place

Planting colorful flowers on each grave

With a prayer that each unfulfilled wish

Will create a place much more beautiful than before.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

beautiful blooming blossom blur

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~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save, or Stretch a Dollar