get out of my head

close up photo of chessboard pieces

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i don’t want you here, living inside my head

questioning every decision,

every move I make,

putting useless worry into my mind,

creating chaos that cannot be calmed with relaxation or meditation

you want to destroy me

make me feel as if I cannot get better,  heal,  or live a happy life

 

i want to be lifted up

encouraged,

experience true peace,

 

so find a new place to reside

 

i am kicking you out

for good

 

wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

the quiet

 

 

black and white cold fog forest

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when we quiet our world

only then can we can hear God whisper…..

when we quiet our mind

only then can our soul speak and be heard

nature speaks to us in so many ways…..

….but only when we are humble enough to receive it.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save, or Stretch a Dollar

5 ways to reduce anxiety when dealing with chronic illness.

four rock formation

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It has been my experience dealing with illnesses for decades, that anxiety rears it evil, unwanted head often for those of us living with chronic illness.  We live in a world filled with a lot of unknowns.  This is a reality we don’t want, in a world that doesn’t really get it, and can appear as if it doesn’t care.  So, how do you tackle those moments (or days) when anxiety comes charging straight ahead and doesn’t take into consideration where you are or what you are doing?  I definitely don’t have answers, just a humble list of things that have worked (not always) for me.

  1.  Breathe.  I know this sounds so simple, but in times of extreme stress and anxiety sometimes we forget to truly breathe.  We need to take a slow, deep breath to tell our bodies that we are in control……….whether we feel like it, or not.
  2.   Remind yourself you have been here before and you got through it.  This is a big one, the road is bumpy and terrible and you want to take a detour but sometimes there is just no where to turn around.  You have to go down the road and it will end.  You’ve got this!  It may not feel like it, but I have confidence in you!
  3.  Magnesium.  Yep, only if it is allowed by your medical professional.  But for me, magnesium glycinate has helped take the edge off more times than I can remember.  Most people with CI are low, so getting your magnesium levels checked may be beneficial for you.
  4.  Meditate.  I pull up a YouTube relaxation video and do my best.  One minute is better than none!
  5.  Get up and move.  Sitting still appears to keep my thoughts stagnant and focused on the bad.  Moving my body seems to start my thoughts moving and can bring a new perspective.

On top of these five, I also have one thing I do NOT  do.  When I am really stressed out and filled with anxiety about my health (or lack there of) I want to search for solutions.  I want to get better, I don’t want to be like this.  Like everyone else suffering from CI, I want my life back.  But, I have found that “googling it” makes things worse.  No matter what you are researching it seems as if the first thing that pops up is the word cancer……..who the hell needs to read such a horrible word when you are already super stressed!

Until next time YOU are a superhero!  Only a true superhero could do what you do, day in and day out.

What makes you feel better?

red and white mouth plastic toy and food plastic toys

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When you are having a not-so-good day, or horrible day for that matter, are there things you can do to make yourself feel a bit better?  Do you have a movie, some music, a mediation or book that can instantly make you laugh, give you a sense of well-being, or help you ease your pain and discomfort?

For me, when my day is not-so-good, I can usually talk myself into a better mental state and just plough through.  But on my bad days………..not so much.  Those are the days when all the symptoms converge on my body and no matter how I spin the awfulness, I can’t shake the anxiety and sadness, let alone the physical pain.  This is when it helps me to know that someone else is thinking about me.  Do I always hear from a friend during these times?  No, not usually.  But when I do, it is a blessing beyond words.  So if you know others with a CI, send a text, a physical card through the mail, a phone call, just let them know they are not forgotten.  CIs don’t go away and “feel better soon” doesn’t work,  period.  The words may be meant with the best intentions but CI is a life long struggle and those of us with CIs appreciate every single kind thought, gesture, and prayers from others.  Small tokens of thoughtfulness can change a person’s day.

On my bad days I usually resort to lying in the dark in bed, which is so boring when you don’t want to be there.  I try to find something on Netflix or Amazon Prime but when you have been ill for so long……you have watched A LOT of movies!

If there are no movies that catch my fancy, I resort to YouTube but I have less success there.  If that doesn’t work,  I always have a few extra audio-books on hand that I purchase used at library sales just for those occasions.

 

So, what do YOU do on your bad days?

Until next time…………………YOU are a superhero, whether you feel well or not!

 

Meditation

calm daylight evening grass

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Living with a slew of CIs, I have to put up with a lot of crap from my body.  Through these stressful years I  tried to eat right, exercise as able, rest when needed, and research various ways to help ease my pain.  One of the ways that I discovered over and over in my research was the practice of meditation.  As I continued to read about it’s benefits, I just kind of pushed it aside in my mind.  I have always been one who has prayed regularly and I  figured it would have the same impact on my immediate health…………but oh, I was so very wrong.

When I first began meditating I couldn’t do it for more than 3 minutes……….my body and my mind couldn’t rest for even that short amount of time…………in fact, meditating made me feel more anxious;  well, talk about counter-productive!  So, I continued to read more and more about meditation………..the benefits, the different types, the best times and became determined to continue my quest to be able to meditate once a day for 10 minutes.  I reached this goal by slowly increasing my time in one minute intervals when my body felt “ready.”

My very basic meditation practice consists  of listening to meditation music in a relaxed, sitting position, closing my eyes, taking some slow, deep breaths and letting my mind empty.  Nothing special, nothing complicated…………except I have to keep letting thoughts that want to crowd into my “alone time” go off into space.  But I have done it……….I am now able to meditate for 10 minutes a day and not only enjoy it, but I actually look forward to starting each day this way.

As I continue to meditate daily I have seen my level of anxiety drop and when I do start to feel increased anxiety I am instinctively taking  slow deep breaths.

As time goes on, my goal is to learn more about meditation, extend my time, and learn different techniques to incorporate into my routine.  As for now, I will stick to listening to Meditative Mind free off Youtube and enjoy the healthful benefits.

Until next time…………………YOU are a superhero (this is a huge job, so you may need to find a way to deal with all that stress!)