flicker

lighted candle

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pitch darkness is a space where you are forced to discover what you are truly made of and how you were created

veils fall off those who surround you, and their souls reveil as they truly are

terror strikes in isolating darkness,  not knowing what or who is around the next corner,  taking each step with a movement of faith, yet questioning where your faith lies

only in true darkness can you see flickers of light, from yourself, or from others in your life

allow that flickering of light, no matter how weak, illuminate your path

you were not meant for the dark, yet only by trudging through the darkness can you truly appreciate the light.

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published?!

person holding black typewriter

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Here is my question for all of you, have you ever published your work?

If you have a book that is available to purchase please leave it in the comments below and leave a link to where it can be purchased.

I know how much blood, sweat and tears goes into publishing and I want to provide another platform for you to get your work “seen.”

WordPress has such an amazing group of people and I know we all want to help each other and support each other to the best of our abilities.

PLEASE don’t be shy and PLEASE take a moment to look at the messages below to see what your fellow WP bloggers have been ups to.  Thank you so very much!

 

~ wendi is the author of 2 books, you can view them here, thank you.

rays

bright daylight environment forest

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sitting quietly among the trees

allow the sun to brighten your spirit

soaking in the power of divine presence

the rays seeping deep into your soul

internalize this moment for cloudy days

adding it to your reserves

so when the sun disappears and the storms rage on

you can recreate in your mind the feeling of better days to come

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie Lee Austin, is the author of Frugal Seeds  501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar

more of the good

appetizer avocado bread breakfast

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Like so many other people on this small planet, I take the beginning of a new year to set out goals that I hope to accomplish over the next year.  I have a lot of them, eat healthier, move my body more, spend more time in nature, save more money, pay down debt, read more books, spend more time with God and go on more dates with my husband.  As I was mulling over what it is I would like to accomplish this year, I realized that I really just need to spend more time doing the good stuff and less time doing the bad stuff.  Yep, that about sums it up!

Wishing all of you a very blessed New Year!  May you reach your goals………

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save, or Stretch a Dollar

wild horses

nature animal fog freedom

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in my mind i am running free, like the wild horses, across the land without a care in the world

 

in my mind my body is capable, I freely go wherever it will take me

 

in my mind, my spirit is strong and independent just like the horses that run free

 

wild horses running free…..to move with such power and grace…..

 

…….in my mind…….

 

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forest

bright countryside dawn daylight

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searching a dense forest,

no sunlight can reach me,

its vastness surrounds me and I cannot find my way,

I whisper his name…..

and all I can hear is my own voice calling back to me…….saying

……..where are you?

 

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~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

music

close up photo of drum set

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music makes the past seem real,

the future look brighter,

and the present appear less hopeless…

 

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friendships and chronic illness

adorable animals breed canine

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This is a tough subject for me to write about as it brings up a big bag of mixed emotions.  Chronic illness makes relationships tough, very tough.  When you have been ill as long as I have, friendships tend to fall by the way side.  People in our society want a quick fix, “feel better soon” is on so many cards that I want to puke.  CI doesn’t work that way, sickness is forever, barring a miraculous healing……and……yes, I pray and continue to pray for healing and continue to learn about my illnesses and take what steps I can to heal, but our society doesn’t like to deal with things for the long haul.

When you don’t know how you are going to feel in a week, let alone the next hour, it is hard to plan ahead.  Your brain so wants to go out and have fun, see friends, explore the world, plan a vacation for next year, but your body may have a very different plan.

As you grow older with your illness(es) it is even harder to maintain friendships.  You have had to cancel too often, your energy to reach out to people starts to dwindle.  You have a hard enough time just getting through your day……….work (if that is even possible), laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kiddos (if that is in your life), medical appointments, the list goes on and on………………by the end of the day, there is little to no energy left – if you even made it to the end of the day without having to crawl back into bed or back to the sofa.

This post may be sounding a bit like a downer, but I don’t mean it to be so.  It is more of a realistic reflection by someone who has been living this life for more than two decades.  Only you can determine how to maintain friendships, but I have discovered that it was much easier when I was younger………but as people grow older, have families, careers, their lives become bigger and mine has become smaller.  Yes, I was blessed with kids before my CIs really took hold, so all of my energy went to trying to get through my day.  Maintaining friendships for me was sending emails and personal letters letting others know I was thinking about them.  So many outings and get-togethers had to be cancelled because I just couldn’t be there………..some people get it, others don’t, and you just have to let those that don’t go.  It’s not worth the effort or stress on your already struggling body.

You have to be strong enough to truly believe that this is not your fault.  You did nothing wrong and you are an amazing person, they are the ones who are missing out by not taking time to be around you.  I have come to realize in my years of interacting with people who suffer, most of them are the most compassionate, loving, strong, amazing, gentle, generous people around.  If someone can’t see that because you had to cancel dinner plans as a result of your illness……..it is their loss.  Eventually the friendship will dissolve and that extra energy can be put in a place where someone will appreciate it and just maybe that someone is YOU!

 

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cs lewis quote on friendship 15 Famous Quotes on Friendship

pain

adult alone anxious black and white

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in those deep and dark moments of physical and emotional pain you search your soul for strength………….

and in those moments you pray for guidance, for relief – that if there is a lesson to be learned………….to please reveal it in a clear and gentle way………….

maybe it is in these moments when we really learn how strong we are, or maybe it is how weak………..

that we can get through this on our own…………….or that we need others

we are mentally strong enough to tackle it head on……………..or how close we are  completely losing it………….

it is in these moments we realize just how fragile we are………..how we walk a pencil thin line everyday………….between making it and breaking down………….

 

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