to live our very best lives

brown and white bear plush toy

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

This post is going to be different then what I have been posting recently, which has been my attempt at writing poetry.  I have enjoyed putting the words on the screen and deeply appreciate all the kind comments, deserved or not 🙂  so thank YOU!

This week I have been really struggling to come up with something to write.  This struggle caused me to reflect on why I started this blog in the first place.  My main purpose was to help others, who like myself, live with dreaded chronic illnesses.  When I began writing almost 2 years ago, I was so gung-ho, but the more I blogged and the more blogs I read, I became extremely intimiated by the high quality of writing and the vast amount of knowledge that so many others had, that I shyed away from my original intent.

So I decided that, at least for the near future, I will be asking those who grace me with your presence, to answer a different question each week, with each one relating to living our best life while chronically ill.

First, let me give Kim over at  I Tripped Over a Stone a HUGE shout out as she has inspired me to start asking questions.  Every week this amazingly beautiful soul asks her readers questions and the enjoyment I have received from answering and reading others responses has been surprising.  I encourage those of you who have not visited her site to please do so, thank you.

I realize that all of us suffer from different illnesses, affecting us in different ways.  But over the last 21 months I have come to realize that we share a lot more in common than not and we have so much to learn from each other.

So, without further ado, here is the first question:  How do you handle your very bad days?

For me, this is a tough one.  I have 4 kiddos at home and our situation is unique and one that I do not talk about as to protect the identity of my children.  But, even on my really bad days, more than likely I have to get out of bed.  So, I will drink some extra water, maybe be get into a hot shower, put on some loose comfortable clothing, try to drink a smoothie and take my supplements, and then pray for the best.  If I don’t have to get out of bed, I don’t, and I put on a movie, listen to an audiobook, YouTube, anything that does not require reading.

So, how about you guys?  How do you handle your bad days?  The more suggestions the better, you just never know who you may help.

 

Advertisements

covered failings

ground group growth hands

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I was out with my entire family, something that rarely happens due to lack of funds and/ or my kids’ busy work, school and activity schedules.

During this rare treasured outing, my husband and I had purchased all of the kids a snack and they were sitting together on a bench eating, smiling, getting along and thanking us for the food.

In that moment, I became completely overwhelmed by what was playing out before me – happy, smiling, joking, loving, grateful, thankful kids.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I had a very hard time keeping myself from breaking down into uncontrolable sobs.  My son looked up at me and said, “mom, please don’t cry”  which made holding back the tears an even bigger challenge.

In the past, many of my tears were more about the guilt I have held onto for so long, raising kids while my illness took a front seat.  Having children before I knew I had these congenital illnesses, and the true horror of discovering that you have passed these nightmares onto the ones you love more than life itself.

But this is not what I was feeling in that moment.  Instead, I was caught up in pure love for my children, the extreme gratitude that God had blessed me with each one of them and felt me worthy of giving me such beautiful humans to care for.  God believed that I was worthy of being their mother, a gift I humbly treasure every – single – day.

Not only has God seen me worthy of such enormous blessings as my children, but that He has also covered over my failings, filled in the numerous cracks that I left as a ill and flawed human being.  He did what I had prayed and prayed that He would do, to make up for my many shortcomings as a parent, and despite my illnesses, allow my kids to grow up to be loving, caring, compassionate and unique individuals.  Prayers answered………and because of these gifts, my heart was too full with awe.  The happiness that flowed through my veins could not be contained within my body but instead flowed over and out my eyes………

They say that the window to one’s soul is through the eyes……….I hope my children could see that the tears were from the love overflowing in my heart for each one of them.

 

~ wendi is the author of two books that you can view here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

soar

bird animal freedom fly

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Shatter the cage your body imprisons your mind with

Allow your spirit to remain free

To soar above the pain,

chaos

and

confusion

fear

and

uncertainty

Instead observe the magnificent beauty that surrounds you

Hidden by your perceived reality

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, which can be viewed here

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

shattered

white ceramic teacup with saucer

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

 

the delicate tea cups sit on a shelf

dreaming delightful thoughts of being filled

waiting upon the day to soak in their sweet promises

 

one by one, year after year

the cups crash unto the floor

shattering into hundreds of pieces

leaving an unrecognizable pattern on the floor

too tired and distraught to sweep up the fragments

a graveyard of wishes for me to mourn

 

the last cup sits upon the shelf

teetering

and all i can do is hold my breath

whispering a silent prayer that this one will remain.

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

be the dragon

gray dragon statue

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

I am one who wholeheartedly believes in showing kindness, thankfulness and gratitude.

But, there are days I need to be more, much more, I need to be a dragon:  fierce, relentless, strong, powerful, self-reliant, who is able to burn a path for myself to tread.

How else am I to live ill, every – single – day, and still go on!?

Today I choose to be the dragon!

 

Taking flight soar as I please

Shooting fire below

To make my path more at ease

 

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

part of me dies

adult alone anxious black and white

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

 

when i see you cry

a small part of me dies

i want to shelter you from every storm

create a world that is safe

for you to be free from pain

i want you to move through life as you please

independently with abundance of laughter and joy

but life is not always fair

bad things happen to extraordinary people

and despite my deepest desire and my fervent prayers

i can’t make it better

 

so when i see you cry

part of me dies…….

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

shadows

scenic view of night sky with stars

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

 

without shadows from the past

a future could not become so radiant

 

without true darkness

stars could not shine so magically

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

books

ancient arch architecture art

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

adventure in hand

thrown into another world

true blessed escape

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

wendi, under the pen name Charlie Lee Austin, is the author of Frugal Seeds 501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar.  You can read it for free with Kindle Unlimited through Amazon.

rays

bright daylight environment forest

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

 

sitting quietly among the trees

allow the sun to brighten your spirit

soaking in the power of divine presence

the rays seeping deep into your soul

internalize this moment for cloudy days

adding it to your reserves

so when the sun disappears and the storms rage on

you can recreate in your mind the feeling of better days to come

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie Lee Austin, is the author of Frugal Seeds  501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar