covered failings

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I was out with my entire family, something that rarely happens due to lack of funds and/ or my kids’ busy work, school and activity schedules.

During this rare treasured outing, my husband and I had purchased all of the kids a snack and they were sitting together on a bench eating, smiling, getting along and thanking us for the food.

In that moment, I became completely overwhelmed by what was playing out before me – happy, smiling, joking, loving, grateful, thankful kids.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I had a very hard time keeping myself from breaking down into uncontrolable sobs.  My son looked up at me and said, “mom, please don’t cry”  which made holding back the tears an even bigger challenge.

In the past, many of my tears were more about the guilt I have held onto for so long, raising kids while my illness took a front seat.  Having children before I knew I had these congenital illnesses, and the true horror of discovering that you have passed these nightmares onto the ones you love more than life itself.

But this is not what I was feeling in that moment.  Instead, I was caught up in pure love for my children, the extreme gratitude that God had blessed me with each one of them and felt me worthy of giving me such beautiful humans to care for.  God believed that I was worthy of being their mother, a gift I humbly treasure every – single – day.

Not only has God seen me worthy of such enormous blessings as my children, but that He has also covered over my failings, filled in the numerous cracks that I left as a ill and flawed human being.  He did what I had prayed and prayed that He would do, to make up for my many shortcomings as a parent, and despite my illnesses, allow my kids to grow up to be loving, caring, compassionate and unique individuals.  Prayers answered………and because of these gifts, my heart was too full with awe.  The happiness that flowed through my veins could not be contained within my body but instead flowed over and out my eyes………

They say that the window to one’s soul is through the eyes……….I hope my children could see that the tears were from the love overflowing in my heart for each one of them.

 

~ wendi is the author of two books that you can view here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

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summer fun with kids

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As many of you know I have written a book call Frugal Seeds  Summer Edition:  101 Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Kids for Little Money.

This is can be read FREE at Amazon with KindleUnlimited or you can purchase the e-book for 99 cents.

From my family to yours……….wishing you a summer filled with blessed memories.

“Summer time is the best of what might be.” ~ Charles Bowden

 

part of me dies

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when i see you cry

a small part of me dies

i want to shelter you from every storm

create a world that is safe

for you to be free from pain

i want you to move through life as you please

independently with abundance of laughter and joy

but life is not always fair

bad things happen to extraordinary people

and despite my deepest desire and my fervent prayers

i can’t make it better

 

so when i see you cry

part of me dies…….

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

summer edition

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I am excited to announce that we have another book available on Amazon, Frugal Seeds Summer Edition, 101 Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Kids for Little Money.  This was a true labor of love as the ideas inside this e-book are how I have enjoyed summer with my kids through the years.

I would be humbled if you would check it out.  Free to read with KindleUnlimited and 99 cents to download.

keeping my young kids entertained at home while chronically ill

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Although I had been “sick” for as long as I can remember, no one could find anything wrong with me.  As a result, I went on with my life the best I could and that included the blessings of children.  It was not until after my last child was born that I became too ill for the doctors to ignore.  Once a diagnoses was finally made, my life was more complicated, stressful, and difficult due to increasing symptoms.  There were many days that I lived minute by minute, not sure how I was going to last until it was their bedtime.  I had to figure out ways to make taking care of the kids a little easier and these are the things that I did.

We hung a bird feeder outside our dining room window.  This was a place we could all sit and watch the birds.  I purchased a few storybooks with birds and a bird guide to help us identify the visiting creatures.

Special boxes.  Every late summer when school supplies went on sale, I would put together a box for each child.  Their boxes would include paper, pens, pencils, crayons, scissors, stickers, glue sticks, craft supplies, a puzzle, journals, a book or two, and a few smaller toys.  These boxes were only brought out with my permission and I used them on days I couldn’t handle much noise or activity.  They were a HUGE hit with my kids as I was adamant that the boxes were only brought out at specified times and when they were done everything went back into the box and it was put away until next time.

Play dough and Model Magic.  I had a bin with plastic silverware and plates and small toys and  plastic animals to use with the play dough.  Kids loved it when I pulled out this bin, but it had to be used on days that I felt decent, as it involved more clean-up.

Special DVDs.  There were several movies that my kids loved to watch and I would hold those back for times when I could not get out of bed.  The kiddos would climb into bed with me and “we” (mostly them) would watch the movie.  This would give me a solid hour and a half to be still.

Books.  I read A LOT to my kids, hundreds and hundreds of books.  I would sit in a comfy chair and the kids would gather around and listen while playing quietly (most of the time).

Legos.  I LOVE Legos.  We had all kinds of legos at our home and as the kids grew the legos got smaller and more dangerous to have scattered all over the floor.  These could keep my kids entertained for hours.

Blocks.  I had a very large plastic bucket full of wooden blocks and my kiddos would sit and play with those for hours creating their own imaginary kingdoms.

Trains.  A train table was given to my oldest child and Thomas and his friends joined shortly afterward.  There was enough room at the table for all of my kiddos to sit and play.

Dress-up bin.  Old clothing, jewelry, hats, halloween costumes, they could dress up and become anything they wanted.

Art supplies.  White paper, scratch paper, construction paper, packing paper, pens, pencils, crayons, markers, finger paints……….I kept all of this contained to one area of the house.

Dolls.  Dolls and doll clothing plus beds made from clementine crates and plastic doll food from the dollar store.

Sandbox in the backyard. My husband built a simple sandbox in our backyard and the kids LOVED playing in it.

Tire swing hanging from a large tree in our backyard.  My husband put this up for the kids and it was an instant hit.

I hope you can find something you are able to use to entertain your kiddos or grandkids while you deal with CI.

 

Until next time……..

 

~ wendi, pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar.