your heartbeat

heart love sand

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lying by your side i hear your heartbeat

a sound that means life, represents love, and lets me know you are close

it is a sound i never tire of hearing

the sound that calms me as i lay scared

may it beat louder and stronger as I lay close

as long as your heart beats, mine will too

knowing you are close and I am safe………

the rose

flower rose nature plant

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fresh and newly picked, beautifully simple, exquisitely delicate

it slowly opens

growing lovelier with layers and layers of petals, showing more of it’s inner beauty, its complexity

in abundant bloom the rose is in it’s glory, filled with beauty, full of life……..showing the world all it has to offer………..

the day comes when the rose begins to droop, petals wither, brown and begin to fall, the stem starts to wilt………beauty fades………and………it begins to die slowly

just like love……….it begins fresh, new, breathtaking ………….but does it have to succumb to decay?

Get To Know Me Tag……..

abstract ancient antique area

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get to know me

Thank you so very much Ana from momlifewithchiari for this tag, I am thrilled to be picked by such a dear person that I have come to call friend……and not just because we share a disorder.  Please take a moment to go check out her blog.

Rules:

  1. Thank the Person Who Nominated You
  2. Provide a Link to their Website
  3. Answer the “Get To Know Me” Questions
  4. Nominate 10-15 Bloggers.
  5. Pass on the Same 10 Questions ( With an additional of 2 of yours, if you wish )

The Questions:

1. What does your name mean?

I have always wanted a story to go along with my name, but alas, there is none.  I am not named after anyone or any character, I guess my mom just liked the name and wanted it to be different from the original spelling and replaced the Y with an I.

But, according to the Urban Dictionary, Wendi means friend……….I’ll take that.

2. Are you scared of heights?

Oh my goodness, Yes!

3. What is your best physical feature?

I can smile through most pain and discomfort.

4. What is your favorite Music Genre?

I enjoy most types of music……..classical, 60s-present day, Indie, folk, ethnic, bluegrass, rock, and some heavy metal.

5. Are you a good cook?

I really can’t answer this question as cooking is something that I have never enjoyed doing……….my last post may give you a glimpse into whether or not you would think I am a good cook.

6. What is your favorite Ice-cream flavor?

Sugar is something that I work very hard at staying away from, but, if I had to pick one I would choose So Delicious dairy-free, coconut milk chocolate frozen dessert.

7. Do you have any allergies?

Yes,  lots of them.  Mostly foods and mold.

8. What is your favorite festival?

Pow-Wows.  To find a Pow Wow taking place in your area click this link.

9. Which of your parents do you look like?

Great question, probably a combination of both with some grandparents’ features thrown in.

10. Who is your favorite Musician?

Robert Mirabal

My Nominees:

I would LOVE anyone who took the time to read this post to do this tag.  If you choose this “challenge” I will be thrilled to put your link below……..just let me know and I will add it.  Thank you so much!

Jeanne in the Kitchen

10 ways I feel like Julia Child while living with chronic illness

food healthy wood table

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My husband actually came up with this title, probably because he wanted to see just how creative I could be………..or maybe because he secretly wishes I was related to Ms. Child  and some of her cooking genes were in my DNA.  Nope………..and add a chronic illness or three…….cooking is not something I usually enjoy.

So, my friends, the bar for me to feel like a gourmet chef is set really low –

  1.  There is food in the fridge that can be eaten without any cooking at all – yogurt, salad mix, fruit, cut up veggies – hey isn’t eating raw all the rage?!
  2.   There are fruits and veggies on the counter that can be eaten just as they are – bonus points if they are in multiple colors – I know vegan is in!
  3. There are vegetables that can be eaten after being heated up in the microwave – my kids are starting to love sweet potatoes – at least this is what I choose to believe!
  4.   There are still freezer meals  available if you are able to reach deep enough into the chest freezer without losing your balance.
  5.   My pantry has items that can be eaten just by being heated up in the microwave – a can of soup and a can of veggies – hey,  mix those together and I am pretty sure it would taste good enough to try it again.
  6.  There is something cooking in the crockpot.
  7.  There are enough leftovers from the day before to feed everyone another meal!
  8.  I actually cut up fruit and veggies to eat with a meal.
  9.   I prepared something edible with more than three ingredients.
  10.   I have the energy to eat the food once I have prepared it!

 

And there you have it my friends………… if any of those 10 things are happening, I feel like I am rockin’ it in the meal prep department.

 

friendships and chronic illness

adorable animals breed canine

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This is a tough subject for me to write about as it brings up a big bag of mixed emotions.  Chronic illness makes relationships tough, very tough.  When you have been ill as long as I have, friendships tend to fall by the way side.  People in our society want a quick fix, “feel better soon” is on so many cards that I want to puke.  CI doesn’t work that way, sickness is forever, barring a miraculous healing……and……yes, I pray and continue to pray for healing and continue to learn about my illnesses and take what steps I can to heal, but our society doesn’t like to deal with things for the long haul.

When you don’t know how you are going to feel in a week, let alone the next hour, it is hard to plan ahead.  Your brain so wants to go out and have fun, see friends, explore the world, plan a vacation for next year, but your body may have a very different plan.

As you grow older with your illness(es) it is even harder to maintain friendships.  You have had to cancel too often, your energy to reach out to people starts to dwindle.  You have a hard enough time just getting through your day……….work (if that is even possible), laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kiddos (if that is in your life), medical appointments, the list goes on and on………………by the end of the day, there is little to no energy left – if you even made it to the end of the day without having to crawl back into bed or back to the sofa.

This post may be sounding a bit like a downer, but I don’t mean it to be so.  It is more of a realistic reflection by someone who has been living this life for more than two decades.  Only you can determine how to maintain friendships, but I have discovered that it was much easier when I was younger………but as people grow older, have families, careers, their lives become bigger and mine has become smaller.  Yes, I was blessed with kids before my CIs really took hold, so all of my energy went to trying to get through my day.  Maintaining friendships for me was sending emails and personal letters letting others know I was thinking about them.  So many outings and get-togethers had to be cancelled because I just couldn’t be there………..some people get it, others don’t, and you just have to let those that don’t go.  It’s not worth the effort or stress on your already struggling body.

You have to be strong enough to truly believe that this is not your fault.  You did nothing wrong and you are an amazing person, they are the ones who are missing out by not taking time to be around you.  I have come to realize in my years of interacting with people who suffer, most of them are the most compassionate, loving, strong, amazing, gentle, generous people around.  If someone can’t see that because you had to cancel dinner plans as a result of your illness……..it is their loss.  Eventually the friendship will dissolve and that extra energy can be put in a place where someone will appreciate it and just maybe that someone is YOU!

 

 

cs lewis quote on friendship 15 Famous Quotes on Friendship

lonely road

 

bare trees at golden hour

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

 

 

no one can truly understand the pain and discomfort of  living

to understand the masks put on every day, to live within the confines of  this society, not to be viewed as worthless, useless, in a culture that wants fast paced living, quick movements, immediate answers, a fountain of youth, boundless energy, radiating health………..

we struggle to even maneuver down this path……….it is twisting, turning sharply with multiple bumps in the road

it’s a lonely road we roam…………..the desperation, the clinging onto hope, the desire to feel normal……………it is astounding thoughts of healing we try to keep alive – pushed to the back of our minds so not to be overwhelmed with the thoughts of what might be.

the road is endless and uncharted.  it is an intimidating place to ramble as the fog covers the path – your view is obscured…………you have no ability to see where you are going.

it’s like taking a trip, to an unknown place without any clue to where you are going or how you are going to get there…………..not a path I would have chosen to take, but one I am on nonetheless.

some of my favorite live webcams

close up of hand feeding on tree trunk

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

 

Stuck in bed and sick of Netflix and/or Amazon Prime, need a mental break from your work screen, some inspiration for a blog post or you just want to watch something cool and relaxing?  Check out 10 of my favorite live webcams!

May it bring a smile or two to your face!

 

batworld cam – multiple choice of views on this page

Bison Cam and prairie dog cam

Charlotte’s Pasture

HenCam – yep, I do have chickens in my backyard, but I love chickens so much I also enjoy watching others.

Honey Bee Landing Zone

jelly cam – there is something relaxing and mesmorizing about watching these beautiful creatures.

Northern Lights cam

Old Friends Senior Dogs

Sauces Bald Eagle Cam

Turkey Barn Cam