living our best life possible – JUST SAY IT!

black microphone

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

 

Through all the years I have lived with chronic illnesses, I have felt the pressure to say that I was ok, even when I absolutely was not.  These pressures may have come from my internal desire to be well, not wanting to admit that I was sick, or living, if only briefly, in a fantasy world of being normal.  Or it could be a result of societal pressures, of people not wanting to know the truth of illness, or hear about others’ problems because it is way more fun to listen to happy stories.  Maybe it was because I heard, “you don’t look sick” one too many times.  Maybe I was tired to hearing people tell me how so-and-so was cured from some new thing.  I am guessing it is a combination of reasons.

I have always felt looked down upon when I spoke the truth.  That I was being judged for being ill, that somehow it was my fault, and that I was not working hard enough at healing.  Whether or not this was true, it was how I felt, so it was my reality.

There are days I want to open my back door, step outside and scream, “This sucks ass!”  Yep, I just swore, trust me, God can handle my truth, even if others can’t.  Who am I expecting to hear this?  My chickens?  My neighbors?  No, just every single person I have ever lied to when I said I was ok.

So, is there something you have always wanted to say about your illness, but have been too afraid?  Something you have wanted to scream to the world, yourself, or others?  NO JUDGEMENT HERE!

Sometimes is takes us being very, very honest with ourselves and others before we can even have a snowball’s chance in hell to begin the very long road to healing. 

 

graveyard

 

brown and black snail crawling on wall

Photo by Mircea Iancu on Pexels.com

 

My graveyard of regrets overflows with markers

The place I would go to bury my unfulfilled hope and dreams

They lie entombed, not as a result of lack of effort or desire

But due to circumstances beyond my control

 

I don’t like to visit this dreadful space – yet it remains outside my front door

So I have made a plan to transform this place

Planting colorful flowers on each grave

With a prayer that each unfulfilled wish

Will create a place much more beautiful than before.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

beautiful blooming blossom blur

Photo by Leigh Patrick on Pexels.com

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save, or Stretch a Dollar