my prayer for you

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that you experience true love

soaking in the sweetness of being loved for who you are

no matter what your failings, limitations or inabilities that may fill your body

 

that you feel safe in the arms of another

held when you are unsure or scared

lying closely as your heartbeats create a synchronous rhythm of comfort and respect

 

that your hand will be held with gentleness and caring to help guide you through life

you are comforted when ill

and protected when you are weak

 

that you find joy in their presence

your 1,000th kiss will feel like the first

and your day will not be complete without seeing the beauty of your love reflected back in their face

 

 

 

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flicker

lighted candle

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pitch darkness is a space where you are forced to discover what you are truly made of and how you were created

veils fall off those who surround you, and their souls reveil as they truly are

terror strikes in isolating darkness,  not knowing what or who is around the next corner,  taking each step with a movement of faith, yet questioning where your faith lies

only in true darkness can you see flickers of light, from yourself, or from others in your life

allow that flickering of light, no matter how weak, illuminate your path

you were not meant for the dark, yet only by trudging through the darkness can you truly appreciate the light.

covered failings

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I was out with my entire family, something that rarely happens due to lack of funds and/ or my kids’ busy work, school and activity schedules.

During this rare treasured outing, my husband and I had purchased all of the kids a snack and they were sitting together on a bench eating, smiling, getting along and thanking us for the food.

In that moment, I became completely overwhelmed by what was playing out before me – happy, smiling, joking, loving, grateful, thankful kids.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I had a very hard time keeping myself from breaking down into uncontrolable sobs.  My son looked up at me and said, “mom, please don’t cry”  which made holding back the tears an even bigger challenge.

In the past, many of my tears were more about the guilt I have held onto for so long, raising kids while my illness took a front seat.  Having children before I knew I had these congenital illnesses, and the true horror of discovering that you have passed these nightmares onto the ones you love more than life itself.

But this is not what I was feeling in that moment.  Instead, I was caught up in pure love for my children, the extreme gratitude that God had blessed me with each one of them and felt me worthy of giving me such beautiful humans to care for.  God believed that I was worthy of being their mother, a gift I humbly treasure every – single – day.

Not only has God seen me worthy of such enormous blessings as my children, but that He has also covered over my failings, filled in the numerous cracks that I left as a ill and flawed human being.  He did what I had prayed and prayed that He would do, to make up for my many shortcomings as a parent, and despite my illnesses, allow my kids to grow up to be loving, caring, compassionate and unique individuals.  Prayers answered………and because of these gifts, my heart was too full with awe.  The happiness that flowed through my veins could not be contained within my body but instead flowed over and out my eyes………

They say that the window to one’s soul is through the eyes……….I hope my children could see that the tears were from the love overflowing in my heart for each one of them.

 

~ wendi is the author of two books that you can view here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

whispered my name

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as the wind paused for a moment

clouds halted their voyage across the sky

the birds stopped singing

and the leaves in the trees stopped playing

 

I swear the Earth stopped moving,

if for but a brief moment,

for all to listen for the word my body ached to hear

 

you whispering my name

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

 

summer fun with kids

action beach boy child

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As many of you know I have written a book call Frugal Seeds  Summer Edition:  101 Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Kids for Little Money.

This is can be read FREE at Amazon with KindleUnlimited or you can purchase the e-book for 99 cents.

From my family to yours……….wishing you a summer filled with blessed memories.

“Summer time is the best of what might be.” ~ Charles Bowden

 

Tears

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There are days that I just can not pretend to be ok for one more second.  The pain. The fog.  The fear.  The unknown.  It gets the best of me, despite how hard I try to ignore it.  It is in these moments that I fall apart.

I cry a personal brook, weeping myself into moments of inconsolable sadness.  As I try to pull myself out of the despair, I think about all the people who have it worse, who are in their own part of the world crying their own personal stream………babbling to themselves that no one understands.

I visualize the tears of those who cry out for help………turning into streams………the streams all meeting up forming an ocean of tears…..

These tears are not seen by many, only those who live within the ocean, on an island of illness………..it is only when the winds pick up and the ocean gains strength enough to cry out do we really see the others who live here too.

But here in the ocean of tears, you find an abundance of life, completely different than what you would find on land –  but beautiful just the same.

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

part of me dies

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when i see you cry

a small part of me dies

i want to shelter you from every storm

create a world that is safe

for you to be free from pain

i want you to move through life as you please

independently with abundance of laughter and joy

but life is not always fair

bad things happen to extraordinary people

and despite my deepest desire and my fervent prayers

i can’t make it better

 

so when i see you cry

part of me dies…….

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

shadows

scenic view of night sky with stars

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without shadows from the past

a future could not become so radiant

 

without true darkness

stars could not shine so magically

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

past

 

grayscale photography of a pathway

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without my past

the future could not look so bright

 

without darkness

the light would not be so celebrated

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie,  is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar.

 

 

 

 

true love

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true love is not easy, in fact it is down right hard.

loving someone when everything is going well is easy, so easy it makes me laugh.

real love is when you stick around for the hard stuff.

the real hard stuff isn’t financial troubles or family squabbles…..

if you are physically well, you can work two jobs, it might be hard but, if you are healthy it is doable.

family issues can be worked out if you have the health to endure them or capable to physically pick yourself up and move.

but illness………it shakes you to the core.  lives are transformed in an instant, roles change, individuals get lost in the symptoms leaving the caretaker to fed for themselves in a sea of uncertainty.

only with true love do you have the freedom to heal.

Today, may you experience a sense of healing, no matter how small.

 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

 

~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save, or Stretch a Dollar.