graveyard

 

brown and black snail crawling on wall

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My graveyard of regrets overflows with markers

The place I would go to bury my unfulfilled hope and dreams

They lie entombed, not as a result of lack of effort or desire

But due to circumstances beyond my control

 

I don’t like to visit this dreadful space – yet it remains outside my front door

So I have made a plan to transform this place

Planting colorful flowers on each grave

With a prayer that each unfulfilled wish

Will create a place much more beautiful than before.

 

beautiful blooming blossom blur

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lighthouse

photo of red and white lighthouse

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alone in the water it stood

tall, strong and fearless

ravaged by wave after powerful wave

as if the water’s deepest desire was to bring her crashing down

she bravely faced each torrent

as the waves wore at the surface

her strength flickered

but her beauty remained

 

 

at sunset

 

 

silhouette of clouds during golden hour photograph

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watching the sun fade into the landscape, it leaves my world dark and still,

it is in these moments that my mind starts to question all that I think to be true

it is a time when I begin to rewrite my own story….

as the dawn arrives, I face a brand new day………and I pray,

maybe today I can make it different

wild horses

nature animal fog freedom

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in my mind i am running free, like the wild horses, across the land without a care in the world

 

in my mind my body is capable, and I can freely go wherever it will take me

 

in my mind, my spirit is strong and independent just like the horses that run free

 

wild horses running free…..to move with such power and grace…..

 

…….in my mind…….

 

forest

bright countryside dawn daylight

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searching a dense forest,

no sunlight can reach me,

its vastness surrounds me and I cannot find my way,

I whisper his name…..

and all I can hear is my own voice calling back to me…….saying

……..where are you?

saying goodbye

selective focus photography of child s hand on person s palm

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com

 

 

We morn for those we lose……….not just because we will miss them until we see them again, but we morn what we did not do……….we morn our regrets.

 

Slipping quietly into the next world…………before I could say I love you, one – last – time…..

 

And now they are gone…………and I can’t say the words that should have been said……..when they could hear them and respond.

 

isolation

landscape mountains nature sky

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Synonym Discussion of isolation

solitudeisolationseclusion mean the state of one who is alone. solitude may imply a condition of being apart from all human beings or of being cut off by wish or circumstances from one’s usual associates.

    • a few quiet hours of solitude

isolation stresses detachment from others often involuntarily.

    • the isolation of the village in winter

seclusion suggests a shutting away or keeping apart from others often connoting deliberate withdrawal from the world or retirement to a quiet life.

    • lived in pastoral seclusion

 

ISOLATION this is such a sad and lonely word, just pushing the sounds across your tongue sounds just……….blah.

ISOLATION is what the prison system uses to further punish those who misbehave while behind bars.  It is meant to break people so they never want to do another bad thing.

Many individuals with chronic illness are living isolated lives.  Isolation leads to even more unwanted side effects or exaggeration of current symptoms such as depression, anxiety, worry, loneliness and pain.

No one wants to feel lonely and too many people are scared to admit they feel alone because, simply put, in today’s world, it equals loser, or worse yet, unlovable.  Obviously this is not true, but those feelings are there none-the-less.

Being chronically ill, we have already lost so much……..previous abilities to do what we loved, stamina, a good night sleep, to interact with our surrounding in a immediate and prompt way……adding loneliness into the mix is a huge slap in the face, fuel to the fire.

This world (at least here in the US) is fixated on the health, youth, independence, wealth, and “beauty” at all costs and people do not take time to slow down and go and visit a friend who is ill, let alone even know who their neighbors are…………so what can we do about this?

…….PLEASE, if you know someone in your neck of the woods who is alone, sick, lonely, can’t get out and interact with the world on a regular basis, please take 1 hour out of  the next 30 days and do something about it.  This simple act of kindness, multiplied by many, sends love where it needs to be, with those who can use it the most.  If you are personally unable to get out of your home, send a card or a letter to someone else who is in a similar situation.  Emails are nice and texts can be great too, but taking the time to send a personal note shows you took an extra step out of your day and thought of them in a very real way.  Now please go……………

Image result for quotes of gandhi to be the change you want to see in the world

 

pain

adult alone anxious black and white

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

 

in those deep and dark moments of physical and emotional pain you search your soul for strength………….

and in those moments you pray for guidance, for relief – that if there is a lesson to be learned………….to please reveal it in a clear and gentle way………….

maybe it is in these moments when we really learn how strong we are, or maybe it is how weak………..

that we can get through this on our own…………….or that we need others

we are mentally strong enough to tackle it head on……………..or how close we are  completely losing it………….

it is in these moments we realize just how fragile we are………..how we walk a pencil thin line everyday………….between making it and breaking down………….