at sunset

 

 

silhouette of clouds during golden hour photograph

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

 

watching the sun fade into the landscape, it leaves my world dark and still,

it is in these moments that my mind starts to question all that I think to be true

it is a time when I begin to rewrite my own story….

as the dawn arrives, I face a brand new day………and I pray,

maybe today I can make it different

wild horses

nature animal fog freedom

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in my mind i am running free, like the wild horses, across the land without a care in the world

 

in my mind my body is capable, and I can freely go wherever it will take me

 

in my mind, my spirit is strong and independent just like the horses that run free

 

wild horses running free…..to move with such power and grace…..

 

…….in my mind…….

 

saying goodbye

selective focus photography of child s hand on person s palm

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com

 

 

We morn for those we lose……….not just because we will miss them until we see them again, but we morn what we did not do……….we morn our regrets.

 

Slipping quietly into the next world…………before I could say I love you, one – last – time…..

 

And now they are gone…………and I can’t say the words that should have been said……..when they could hear them and respond.

 

pain

adult alone anxious black and white

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

 

in those deep and dark moments of physical and emotional pain you search your soul for strength………….

and in those moments you pray for guidance, for relief – that if there is a lesson to be learned………….to please reveal it in a clear and gentle way………….

maybe it is in these moments when we really learn how strong we are, or maybe it is how weak………..

that we can get through this on our own…………….or that we need others

we are mentally strong enough to tackle it head on……………..or how close we are  completely losing it………….

it is in these moments we realize just how fragile we are………..how we walk a pencil thin line everyday………….between making it and breaking down………….

a run

silhouette of boy running in body of water during sunset

Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

 

i am running………… running down the beach, the way i did when i was young

my toes gripping the damp sand

my body is moving so freely, so easily, without pain or hindrance

feeling the wind blow through my hair, my body moving swiftly

feeling my lungs burn because i am moving so fast……….

feeling my muscles ache because i am  pushing myself……..

it all feels amazing……my body feels so strong………..

 

i wake up and experience the loss in my soul of what i can no longer do………….but in my dream, it was wonderful, and maybe, just maybe,  I can run down that beach again tonight.

unsolicited advice

black ball point pen with brown spiral notebook

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I always carry a small notebook and pen with me wherever I go.  I do this for two main reasons;  one, I like to be able to jot down ideas or thoughts on paper that pop into my head before they fade into the abyss, and two, to pass along my info to someone who is giving me unsolicited advice.  Let me explain……….

I have been dealing with chronic illness for y-e-a-r-s, so I have heard a lot of remedies for my ailments. In fact, as I was typing this post I remembered even more unwanted advice and added those to a previous post.

So, I now deal with unwanted medical advice in a very simple way.  I politely thank the individual for caring so much about me that s/he wants to help.  I explain to them that I have a difficult time retaining new auditory information (which is true) and I would love to read more about their cure.  I take out my notebook and I write down either my email or physical address (which ever seems more appropriate for the situation) and tell them I look forward to hearing from them.

You can probably guess the rest………..I have NEVER once been sent any information through the mail, and who doesn’t love receiving mail?!  I have received two or three  emails over the years and they did contain some valid health information.  Now if I could only find a way to stop them from offering advice in the first place!

Until next time………