friendships and chronic illness

adorable animals breed canine

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This is a tough subject for me to write about as it brings up a big bag of mixed emotions.  Chronic illness makes relationships tough, very tough.  When you have been ill as long as I have, friendships tend to fall by the way side.  People in our society want a quick fix, “feel better soon” is on so many cards that I want to puke.  CI doesn’t work that way, sickness is forever, barring a miraculous healing……and……yes, I pray and continue to pray for healing and continue to learn about my illnesses and take what steps I can to heal, but our society doesn’t like to deal with things for the long haul.

When you don’t know how you are going to feel in a week, let alone the next hour, it is hard to plan ahead.  Your brain so wants to go out and have fun, see friends, explore the world, plan a vacation for next year, but your body may have a very different plan.

As you grow older with your illness(es) it is even harder to maintain friendships.  You have had to cancel too often, your energy to reach out to people starts to dwindle.  You have a hard enough time just getting through your day……….work (if that is even possible), laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kiddos (if that is in your life), medical appointments, the list goes on and on………………by the end of the day, there is little to no energy left – if you even made it to the end of the day without having to crawl back into bed or back to the sofa.

This post may be sounding a bit like a downer, but I don’t mean it to be so.  It is more of a realistic reflection by someone who has been living this life for more than two decades.  Only you can determine how to maintain friendships, but I have discovered that it was much easier when I was younger………but as people grow older, have families, careers, their lives become bigger and mine has become smaller.  Yes, I was blessed with kids before my CIs really took hold, so all of my energy went to trying to get through my day.  Maintaining friendships for me was sending emails and personal letters letting others know I was thinking about them.  So many outings and get-togethers had to be cancelled because I just couldn’t be there………..some people get it, others don’t, and you just have to let those that don’t go.  It’s not worth the effort or stress on your already struggling body.

You have to be strong enough to truly believe that this is not your fault.  You did nothing wrong and you are an amazing person, they are the ones who are missing out by not taking time to be around you.  I have come to realize in my years of interacting with people who suffer, most of them are the most compassionate, loving, strong, amazing, gentle, generous people around.  If someone can’t see that because you had to cancel dinner plans as a result of your illness……..it is their loss.  Eventually the friendship will dissolve and that extra energy can be put in a place where someone will appreciate it and just maybe that someone is YOU!

 

 

cs lewis quote on friendship 15 Famous Quotes on Friendship

3 days – 3 quotes nomination – Day #3

white dove on white bird figure stand

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I would like to sincerely thank momlifewithchiari for nominating me.  Please check out her blog where she graciously and bravely lives with a chronic illness and offers encouragement to others so beautifully.  She has been a huge encouragement for  me and I appreciate her!

HERE ARE THE RULES:

♣…Thank the person who nominated you.

♣…Post a quote for 3 days and explain why it appeals to you.

♣…Nominate bloggers each day!

 

“Everything on the earth has a purpose, every disease an herb to cure it, and every person a mission. This is the Indian theory of existence.” – Mourning Dove [Christine Quintasket] (1888-1936) Okanogan

 

I feel the truth of this quote deep into my soul.  Maybe it is because I am of Native descent and many of my beliefs have just been part of who I am for as far back as I can remember, or maybe it is because I just want to believe it, but either way…………they are words I hold as truths.

All living creatures that inhabit this Earth were put here for a reason.  We each have a purpose,  no matter what you are or are not physically able to do YOU have a purpose and your purpose it is important to the rest of humanity.  You have a mission……….whether or not you have discovered what it is…..your mission is important and so are you.  Yes, I realize I  just restated what Mourning Dove so brilliantly penned, but sometimes there is just nothing more to add.

I also KNOW with all of my heart that on this Earth was placed a cure for every disease, every illness, every ailment……………a belief that I have had, even before I became ill.  We just need to be open to possibilities and miracles that result from nature and not man made creations.

Even though everyone is important, has a mission, and we are to be kind and loving, to radiate truth and kindness, love and respect, that does not mean we need to do it at the expense of our self………….and therefore I leave you with a last quote……..

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

 

Amen!

 

My nominees are:  Below is a wonderful group of bloggers that I so enjoy following.  To my nominees………..if it is in your path to do this, I will look forward to reading your posts.  If not, please know that I thought of you………

 

A Voice From Iran

Sue Dreamwalker

Grace Deveraux

Oscar Dandelion

deontetowner

Something to Stu Over

Outrunning my demons

Our Frugal Escapades

Ckonfab

3 days – 3 quotes nomination – Day #2

mr roger black and white

I would like to sincerely thank momlifewithchiari for nominating me.  Please check out her blog where she graciously and bravely lives with a chronic illness and offers encouragement to others so beautifully.  She has been a huge encouragement for  me and I appreciate her!

 

“Whether we’re a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we’re acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others.”
― Fred RogersThe World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 

Isn’t this so true……….no matter who we are, where we live, what our age………..we all want to feel as if we matter and that inhabiting this planet makes a positive impact on others’ lives.  I think this is even more important for those of us who live with challenges………we feel broken, damaged, less than, unable to live “up” to the world’s artificial standard of useful…………

Mr. Rogers had it ABSOLUTELY right, he knew everyone mattered, no matter who they were……………so today, make sure you let those in your life who are important to you know that they matter and you are glad to be sharing your life’s journey with them!  You have no idea how telling someone they are important to you could change a person’s day………month………… or future.

Now go………

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

quotes to inspire you to take care of yourself!

 

 

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It is important for everyone to take good care of him/herself.  But for those of us with chronic illnesses, it is vitally important.  Our days can be are filled with pain, discomfort, anxiety, loneliness, sadness, brain fog, confusion, appointments, and the fear of the unknown.  It is a lot for one person to handle and because of this, self-care is something that needs to be high on every CI persons’ list.

Please take a moment to read the quotes below.  It is my hope that they inspire you to make yourself a priority and encourage you to go do something nice for yourself!

 

“Self-care is how you take your power back.”

–  Lalah Delia

 

“Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

–  Unknown

 

“When the well is dry, we know the worth of water.”

–  Benjamin Franklin

 

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

–  Unknown

 

“Sometimes the most important thing in the whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”

–  Etty Hillesum

 

“If compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”

–  Jack Kornfield

 

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”

–  Christopher Germer

 

“How do you define taking care of yourself?  Create a new self-care practice today.  Observe your comfort level when it comes to being good to yourself.  Discomfort is a wise teacher.”

–  Caroline Myss & Peter Occhiogrosso

 

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries.  Your time and energy are precious.  You get to choose how to use it.  You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.

–  Anna Taylor

 

“A merry heart doeth good like medicine:  but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

–  KJV Proverbs 17:22

 

“Self-care is not selfish.  You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”

–  Eleanor Brown

 

“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile as sin, as self-neglecting.”

–  William Shakespeare

 

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority.  It’s necessary.”

–  Mandy Hale

 

“When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.”

–  Kristin Neff

 

“Self love is asking yourself what you need – everyday – and then making sure you receive it.”

–  Unknown

 

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy.  This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits.”

–  Kim McMillen

 

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

–  Jean Shinoda Bolen

 

“Self-care is how you take your power back.”

–  Lolah Delia

 

“Get rid of the weeds and foster the flowers.”

–  Charlotte Mason

 

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”

–  Mahatma Gandhi

 

“Happiness is the highest form of health.”

–  Dalai Lama

 

“Self-care is taking care of yourself in a tender, loving way every single day.  Self-care is making sure you get what you need every day to thrive.”

–  Amy Kurtz

 

“You are worth every moment you spend taking care of yourself.”

–  simplywendi

 

Hopefully one of the quotes has inspired you to look for ways to be good to yourself every day!

When I find a saying that speaks to me, I like to write it down on an index card and place it in a location where I will see it often, like at my kitchen window.  Who doesn’t need daily inspiration?

……….Until next time, YOU are a superhero and superheros need to take care great of themselves!