i don’t want you here, living inside my head
questioning every decision,
every move I make,
putting useless worry into my mind,
creating chaos that cannot be calmed with relaxation or meditation
you want to destroy me
make me feel as if I cannot get better, heal, or live a happy life
i want to be lifted up
experience true peace,
so find a new place to reside
i am kicking you out
the delicate tea cups sit on a shelf
dreaming delightful thoughts of being filled
waiting upon the day to soak in their sweet promises
one by one, year after year
the cups crash unto the floor
shattering into hundreds of pieces
leaving an unrecognizable pattern on the floor
too tired and distraught to sweep up the fragments
a graveyard of wishes for me to mourn
the last cup sits upon the shelf
and all i can do is hold my breath
whispering a silent prayer that this one will remain.
I am one who wholeheartedly believes in showing kindness, thankfulness and gratitude.
But, there are days I need to be more, much more, I need to be a dragon: fierce, relentless, strong, powerful, self-reliant, who is able to burn a path for myself to tread.
How else am I to live ill, every – single – day, and still go on!?
Today I choose to be the dragon!
Taking flight soar as I please
Shooting fire below
To make my path more at ease
As many of you know I have written a book call Frugal Seeds Summer Edition: 101 Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Kids for Little Money.
This is can be read FREE at Amazon with KindleUnlimited or you can purchase the e-book for 99 cents.
From my family to yours……….wishing you a summer filled with blessed memories.
“Summer time is the best of what might be.” ~ Charles Bowden
There are days that I just can not pretend to be ok for one more second. The pain. The fog. The fear. The unknown. It gets the best of me, despite how hard I try to ignore it. It is in these moments that I fall apart.
I cry a personal brook, weeping myself into moments of inconsolable sadness. As I try to pull myself out of the despair, I think about all the people who have it worse, who are in their own part of the world crying their own personal stream………babbling to themselves that no one understands.
I visualize the tears of those who cry out for help………turning into streams………the streams all meeting up forming an ocean of tears…..
These tears are not seen by many, only those who live within the ocean, on an island of illness………..it is only when the winds pick up and the ocean gains strength enough to cry out do we really see the others who live here too.
But here in the ocean of tears, you find an abundance of life, completely different than what you would find on land – but beautiful just the same.
when i see you cry
a small part of me dies
i want to shelter you from every storm
create a world that is safe
for you to be free from pain
i want you to move through life as you please
independently with abundance of laughter and joy
but life is not always fair
bad things happen to extraordinary people
and despite my deepest desire and my fervent prayers
i can’t make it better
so when i see you cry
part of me dies…….
i stand outside as the storm begins to rage
the thunder rolls in sending animals scattering,
yet i don’t move,
shaking the earth under my feet,
my body quakes with fear as the world around me appears to shatter into pieces,
strikes hits too close leaving me cowering in a heap,
can i within stand the storm,
can i endure the constant barrage of raging winds and ravishing rains that beat at my body……..
no place to run,
no place to hide,
not only from the storm but from myself.
i am soaked to the bone,
cold to the touch,
immense fear engulfs my mind
is shelter worth searching for,
my soul cries out for comfort,
yet, do i need saving?
I am excited to announce that we have another book available on Amazon, Frugal Seeds Summer Edition, 101 Ways to Enjoy Summer with Your Kids for Little Money. This was a true labor of love as the ideas inside this e-book are how I have enjoyed summer with my kids through the years.
I would be humbled if you would check it out. Free to read with KindleUnlimited and 99 cents to download.
without shadows from the past
a future could not become so radiant
without true darkness
stars could not shine so magically
don’t allow your past to have power over you,
haunt your future,
or silence your voice,
extricate past abusers by throwing their negative words and actions into a heap
sending it out with the rubbish
and allowing the vultures to determine their fate
with the rubbish gone
plant some flowers in its place
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