January 1st, 2018 I decided to make a resolution not to watch any TV news. I made this resolution half joking, saying it mainly out of frustration of all the depressing stories I heard day after day. What I discovered after a few weeks was that I felt a bit better. My anxiety dropped and I spent less time watching TV. It was a wonderful experience/experiment and one I plan to carry on in 2019 as part of my……..do more of good and and less of the bad activities.
Wishing you a year of more good stuff in your life!
in my mind i am running free, like the wild horses, across the land without a care in the world
in my mind my body is capable, and I can freely go wherever it will take me
in my mind, my spirit is strong and independent just like the horses that run free
wild horses running free…..to move with such power and grace…..
…….in my mind…….
music makes the past seem real,
the future look brighter,
and the present appear less hopeless……
…don’t let the fear of the future rob you of this moment’s peace……
in your arms i experience true peace
no place do i feel safer, not even in my own mind – which creates chaos and worry
my chest full of rapid beats – you wrap your strong arms around me
calms my heart
calms my thoughts
calms my soul……
…..and it is so darn frustrating and down right scary some days. There are times the brain fog is so thick is seems as if I am trying to think my way through oatmeal, and the old-fashioned rolled ones at that. I can’t remember peoples’ names, words, what I walked into a room for, or what I was going to say next. These symptoms scare me, big time, and I have to work hard to keep my emotions in check as anxiety can come on strong and put me on a train to nowhere.
So, to assist with my memory, here are a few things that I do:
- I make a lot of lists. I keep a running list of items needed at the grocery store and things to do …………….now if I can only keep track of all my lists!
- I keep a calendar on my phone plus one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom. I also keep separate calendars on the wall for each of my kiddos major projects, homework, and tests. I realize this is a lot of calendars, but it has taken me years to discover what works for me.
- I try not focus on my mental hiccups as it leads to anxiety which makes every single symptom in the entire world worse!
- I consume healthy fats for my brain.
- I do my best to stay properly hydrated.
- I try to keep my brain active by reading, listening to music, researching, meditating, and trying to learn something new. Who couldn’t be helped by memorizing some Shakespeare?…..shall I count the ways?!
- I take omega 3 fatty acid every day.
- I take magnesium every day.
- I eat a large salad every day.
- I try to move my body daily with some type of physical activity.
Memory issues, from my experience, seem to go along with many of chronic illnesses. I would LOVE to hear what helps you………..
i feel safe from the world
i feel safe from my fears
this safety allows me to stop my tears
i hate feeling scared of what might be
but i am thankful that you are here to calm me
to whisper to me that it will all be ok
that you will, through it all, with me, will stay
lying by your side i hear your heartbeat
a sound that means life, represents love, and lets me know you are close
it is a sound i never tire of hearing
the sound that calms me as i lay scared
may it beat louder and stronger as I lay close
as long as your heart beats, mine will too
knowing you are close and I am safe………
no one can truly understand the pain and discomfort of living
to understand the masks put on every day, to live within the confines of this society, not to be viewed as worthless, useless, in a culture that wants fast paced living, quick movements, immediate answers, a fountain of youth, boundless energy, radiating health………..
we struggle to even maneuver down this path……….it is twisting, turning sharply with multiple bumps in the road
it’s a lonely road we roam…………..the desperation, the clinging onto hope, the desire to feel normal……………it is astounding thoughts of healing we try to keep alive – pushed to the back of our minds so not to be overwhelmed with the thoughts of what might be.
the road is endless and uncharted. it is an intimidating place to ramble as the fog covers the path – your view is obscured…………you have no ability to see where you are going.
it’s like taking a trip, to an unknown place without any clue to where you are going or how you are going to get there…………..not a path I would have chosen to take, but one I am on nonetheless.
in those deep and dark moments of physical and emotional pain you search your soul for strength………….
and in those moments you pray for guidance, for relief – that if there is a lesson to be learned………….to please reveal it in a clear and gentle way………….
maybe it is in these moments when we really learn how strong we are, or maybe it is how weak………..
that we can get through this on our own…………….or that we need others
we are mentally strong enough to tackle it head on……………..or how close we are completely losing it………….
it is in these moments we realize just how fragile we are………..how we walk a pencil thin line everyday………….between making it and breaking down………….