i don’t want you here, living inside my head
questioning every decision,
every move I make,
putting useless worry into my mind,
creating chaos that cannot be calmed with relaxation or meditation
you want to destroy me
make me feel as if I cannot get better, heal, or live a happy life
i want to be lifted up
experience true peace,
so find a new place to reside
i am kicking you out
the delicate tea cups sit on a shelf
dreaming delightful thoughts of being filled
waiting upon the day to soak in their sweet promises
one by one, year after year
the cups crash unto the floor
shattering into hundreds of pieces
leaving an unrecognizable pattern on the floor
too tired and distraught to sweep up the fragments
a graveyard of wishes for me to mourn
the last cup sits upon the shelf
and all i can do is hold my breath
whispering a silent prayer that this one will remain.
when i see you cry
a small part of me dies
i want to shelter you from every storm
create a world that is safe
for you to be free from pain
i want you to move through life as you please
independently with abundance of laughter and joy
but life is not always fair
bad things happen to extraordinary people
and despite my deepest desire and my fervent prayers
i can’t make it better
so when i see you cry
part of me dies…….
i stand outside as the storm begins to rage
the thunder rolls in sending animals scattering,
yet i don’t move,
shaking the earth under my feet,
my body quakes with fear as the world around me appears to shatter into pieces,
strikes hits too close leaving me cowering in a heap,
can i within stand the storm,
can i endure the constant barrage of raging winds and ravishing rains that beat at my body……..
no place to run,
no place to hide,
not only from the storm but from myself.
i am soaked to the bone,
cold to the touch,
immense fear engulfs my mind
is shelter worth searching for,
my soul cries out for comfort,
yet, do i need saving?
when we quiet our world
only then can we can hear God whisper…..
when we quiet our mind
only then can our soul speak and be heard
nature speaks to us in so many ways…..
….but only when we are humble enough to receive it.
~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save, or Stretch a Dollar
…….choose the music that will heal your soul.
~ wendi, under the pen name Charlie, is the author of Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Save, Make or Stretch a Dollar
January 1st, 2018 I decided to make a resolution not to watch any TV news. I made this resolution half joking, saying it mainly out of frustration of all the depressing stories I heard day after day. What I discovered after a few weeks was that I felt a bit better. My anxiety dropped and I spent less time watching TV. It was a wonderful experience/experiment and one I plan to carry on in 2019 as part of my……..do more of good and and less of the bad activities.
Wishing you a year of more good stuff in your life!
watching the sun fade into the landscape, it leaves my world dark and still,
it is in these moments that my mind starts to question all that I think to be true
it is a time when I begin to rewrite my own story….
as the dawn arrives, I face a brand new day………and I pray,
maybe today I can make it different
in my mind i am running free, like the wild horses, across the land without a care in the world
in my mind my body is capable, I freely go wherever it will take me
in my mind, my spirit is strong and independent just like the horses that run free
wild horses running free…..to move with such power and grace…..
…….in my mind…….
searching a dense forest,
no sunlight can reach me,
its vastness surrounds me and I cannot find my way,
I whisper his name…..
and all I can hear is my own voice calling back to me…….saying
……..where are you?