living our best life – worry

/ simplywendi

 

photo of man with hand on his head in the dark

Photo by Frank K on Pexels.com

 

Worrying is such a awfully powerful emotion.  Many of us within the chronic illness community live daily with a heap of things to worry about.  Our health, our finances, our family’s health, a new symptom, our new normal, fear of losing more, the state of the world, decisions on treatments, how to manage all that is required of us, and on many days, how and the heck we are just going to make it until we get to go to bed again.

It sucks.  It is not good for our bodies, minds or souls to experience continuous worry and anxiety with only brief moments of quiet and calm.  Even if you do not live with constant worry, it has a ability to sneek up on you when you least expect it.  You may be living in the moment, consumed with what appears to be happy thoughts and BOOM, you are hit so intensely that you feel as it any moment the anxiety is literally going to take over every cell in your body and bring you to your knees.

I know we all strive to live a worry free life, to be set free from our own thoughts, to be able to live outside of our deeply wired beliefs and messages.  It’s hard, especially if you have been living this way for a long time.

So my question for you this week is, “What do you do to refocus your thoughts toward peaceful and calming energy, and removing worry from your mind?”

 

*This post, nor comments within the post, should be taken as medical advice.  We are just people providing suggestions to help each other live our best life possible.    

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140 thoughts on “living our best life – worry”

  3. If my worry is that bad it starts my anxiety off, then I find I have to be alone for the quiet. Whatever my mind is worrying over, I have to refocus on something else, like colouring, or if I want to be outside then walk in nature. Or if I don’t want complete quiet then dvd’s.

    There are times too I don’t mind being with friends, but the above it what I mostly do.

    I have to tell myself not to worry on something that hasn’t happened yet. Which has bern my scenario, when it’s came to worry and remind myself what I want to do now.

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  4. The best thing for me is to get outdoors if I can. Interacting with other people is great. If it is late at night and usually around 4:00 am (why is it often 4:00am?) then I have lot of touchstones to bring me back to center. The first line of defense is to think of everyone who needs to be held in my heart because they have their own issues to deal with. That usually jumpstarts me to putting myself fin the mix somewhere and giving myself the tender attention I am endeavoring to call in for others. If I can start to summon compassion for others, then it is easier to offer it to myself. Moving around, getting grounded in my body also helps. No matter your spiritual/psychological orientation, being kind to yourself means not to indulge in poisonous worry. Obsessive thinking/worrying is not logical, but it is very human.

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    • Awesome comments Judi! I love how you think about others in need when you are having difficulties……….you have a beautiful soul my dear. Thank you so very much for sharing these great tips. 🙂

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  5. I write Murder Mysteries! That stops it! Seriously. In the nught. In the day. Whenever. Writing is the only option that I have, not being able to walk or see. I LOVE writing though 😊

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  6. “What do you do to refocus your thoughts toward peaceful and calming energy, and removing worry from your mind?”

    I don’t think that we can truly live a worry-free life, since every human on the planet worries. I can’t name one person who lives worry-free. Instead of trying to escape from worry and run away from it, we are better off facing it, even if it means having to face our fears (yenno, that thing you’ve been trying to run away from?). The mind is an incredible tool, as it shapes the way we perceive the world. If you are [unconsciously] looking for worry, I guarantee that you will find it. The mind finds what it seeks. I really do think that re-shaping the way we view the world can help reduce some of our worrying to an extent. Yes, it’s “hard” but it’s never too late to learn new coping skills. Sometimes, I tell my brain to “shut up” when I start worrying and getting anxious. I say it out loud which sounds silly, but it’s enough time to reorient myself to the present moment. Practicing mindfulness, which is being aware of the present moment and what’s actually happening vs. what your brain is ruminating about helps as well. I highly recommend looking into it.

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    • such beautifull comments Hillary! I love that you have found ways that work for you when dealing with anxiety……..having coping methods is a blessing when they are needed. Thank you so very much for stopping by and leaving such helpful tips. I hope today brings you smiles! 🙂

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      • Thank you for your kind words, Wendi 😊💕 I am currently trying to overcome some internal battles as well, and can relate to what you are going through. Coping mechanisms really do help, whether its journaling, having a hobby that you really enjoy, or seeking therapy (cognitive behavioural therapy is really helpful I find). I hope that you have a good weekend, and if it’s Saturday where you are, Happy Caturday. 🐈❤

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    • “Saying it out loud” is huge for me. I like to pray Scripture, and although I’m talking to God, I’m sure it does more for me than for Him! Hearing myself speaking the truth helps drown out the lies and brings me closer to the One who knows everything about what’s going on, loves me enough to die for me, and has everything under His control.

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      • I talk to my cat when it’s just me and the cat in the house. He’s a better listener than most humans haha Sometimes I pray to God out loud but only when it’s just me and nobody else is around. I also believe that humans don’t have life figured out. Humans might like to think that they do, but 2020 is proving that the universe has it figured out all along.

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  7. Temporarily setting aside my worries to focus completely on a routine task is often just long enough to distract me so that I often lose track of them for a while. When I am particularly worried about something, my go to is to clean the kitchen thoroughly. My kids somehow picked up on this remedy, and when they came home from school and saw the kitchen sparkling, they would inevitably ask me, “okay, what’s wrong?”

    We can’t always prevent ourselves from second guessing about what worries us, but worrying usually doesn’t help much, and if we can focus that energy on something that has to get done anyway, it will at least accomplish something.

    I try to give myself a little time to figure out how to deal with what worries me, and then after the kitchen is super-clean, I’m usually too tired to worry so much. Having family and friends to support us is also a big help if we don’t make a habit out of asking for it. Great question!

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    • Thank you so very much John for stopping by and leaving such awesome comments. I love that you spend that worry energy on cleaning the kitchen, that is always nice. I am sure my kids would catch on too and they would be like, “hey, the kitchen is super clean, don’t ask mom for anything!” 🙂
      Thanks again, I hope today bring you smiles. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  8. I look for topics to write about that are completely removed from my worries, get absorbed in googling some background material and deciding how to frame my idea, and then write away! Blogging is a great release for me.

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  9. A lot of what others have mentioned helps me, too, like distraction. Another is facing the fear and asking myself, “What’s the worst that can happen? Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.” I read a post last week where someone said she realized that if she worried about something and it didn’t happen, she created a lot of unnecessary angst. If she worried about it and it did happen, she doubled her misery by worrying. That helped me a lot, and I’ve used that thought to divert anxiety at least once since then.

    As a Christian, ultimately I know everything is in God’s hands, and whatever He allows, He has a reason for and will help me through it. He has enough times in the past that, on one level, I am assured He will in the future. On another level, He does allow His children to go through some very hard things, and I sometimes wince at the “what ifs.” It’s significant that He doesn’t say *if*, but *when*, in Isaiah 43:2: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

    Elisabeth Elliot used to talk a lot about acceptance, often repeating Amy Carmichael’s line that “In acceptance lieth peace.” I know a lot of my anxiety and lack of peace comes from chafing under a real or imagined trial rather than accepting it, from only wanting “out” of it instead of seeking what God has for me in it. I wrote earlier this week about reasons for suffering. That was a rewrite of an earlier post that was just a list. Going back over those helps me sometimes to remind me of some of God’s purposes in it.

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  12. I close my eyes, meditating on Jesus, positive energy, allowing beautiful thoughts to enter in my mind, I pray listening to k-love, and I read scripture, out loud as I believe the word of God doesnot come back void. My favorite scripture is Psalms 91. I picture myself at Jesus feet, laying down all my worries, and let go because he is a God that can handle our impossible situations. Blessings

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    • these are such beautiful suggestions. i love meditating also, but if I am totally stressed out I have found this very difficult to do. imagining yourself in beautiful and relaxing situations is a great idea! Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave such helpful comments. I hope today is treating you well. 🙂 God bless you.

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  13. Music mainly. Your brain cannot truly ‘listen’ and worry at the same time. That is why when we are truly in a stressful state we cannot listen to music or listen to anything loud, its too uncomfortable and difficult.
    I just got into a habit of playing something gentle, meditative even, and each time I drifted back into worry I would force myself to start listening again. After a while you gradually calm with the music. I think it is a life frequency (rhythm like a mothers heartbeat in the womb) that allows music to bring us down to that calm.
    These days I can do computer code and listen, it helps with my creative side. Now if I can just get the code to work I’ll be fine 😂

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    • I love that you are able to listen to music to calm your mind! I found it interesting that you mentioned that when you are stressed out we are unable to listen to anything loud. I didn’t realize this was a thing, but I have experienced it many times! When I am totally stressed, I do need quiet 🙂 Thank you so very much Mark for leaving such helpful comments, I really do appreciate it! 🙂

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  15. You got some priceless responses here Wendi!

    Distraction, exchanging self for others, writing and my motto “Mind Training”!
    But each person needs their own bag of tricks to draw on when things are tough
    … often just one method is not enough!

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  16. God has trained my heart, to forever focus on His love. Taught my soul, that His love hovers… above all my heart will ever face. Learn how to meditate on His words, not just the written, but the loving ones… whispered into my soul! God bless!

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  17. Hi Wendi ! I have a favourite piece of music that always comforts me. It was written by Mozart in 1791, and is written in Latin. It is called ‘Ave Verum Corpus’.There is a Youtube version sung by the King’s College, Cambridge choir. It soothes my spirit and reminds me that we are God’s beloved, and he helps us with every difficulty. 🤗

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    • Hi Sally! 🙂 I am a huge fan of Mozart so I am absolutely going to check out this video on YouTube. Bless you for leaving this information as I am sure others will want to check out this video too………..

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      • Hi Wendi – Glad that yoù like Mozart too ! Ave Verum Corpus is considered by many to be Mozart’s greatest short composition. I like the King’s College Cambridge version because I have conducted children’s choirs, and love the pure sound of children’s voices. The music always reminds me that the Lord understands our struggles and asks us to stay focused on how he is continually guiding us. 🤗

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  19. Somehow I was shown a free phone app called which I can set to pop up at random times to see if I am in distress. I can see what methods work for me and which don’t. I was dubious, but it has been really helpful. I especially appreciated this post today since worry abounds with this virus spreading.

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    • This sounds like an awesome app Elizabeth! and I am so thrilled that you have found it beneficial. As Kate commented earlier, it is helpful if we have more than one way to reduce our anxiety and a phone app would be a great addition!
      Yes, there is a lot of stressful stuff going on in this world……..it can become overwhelming.

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    • Hi Sheryl! Thank you so much for stopping by. You make an awesome point…….finding and participating in something that sparks joy is a great way to keep your mind focused on the positive! I love it! Wishing you a day filled with smiles. 🙂 🙂

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  24. What do I do with worry? First, remember that it is foolish to worry. Foolish because
    all that we ‘see, or think we see’ is not real. i.e. what is here today will not be here tomorrow.
    This includes ‘worry’! It all changes! So WHY WORRY about something that
    disappears (or changes form) by itself? Worry is unnecessary stress on the body.
    Are you constantly disturbed by something? There is a limit to what can be done about it.
    Do what you can, and relax. You have succeeded.

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    • Thank you so very much Eddie for stopping by and leaving such awesome comments! I love the way you view the world and your wisdom that goes along with such views. Worry is completely useless and harmful yet we as humans, even knowing this, continue to walk down that same path…….Awesome thoughts Eddie, thank you again for sharing.

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  25. I either pick up my camera and get involved with Mother or I immerse myself in a series I am watching on TV. When I am in the right place, I start powerful affirmations and command my body to love itself. I then leave the worry behind and go on living. Before I realize it what I was worrying about no longer mattes. It has worked many times and it will work again. (smile)

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  26. This may sound a little self-centred but I find sometimes when worry takes over, I try and remember a compliment I’ve had that makes me smile. It can trigger other good-feeling thoughts. Otherwise, if it’s not pouring with rain, a few minutes outside enjoying the wonders of nature definitely helps. I’m reading the Earth’s Children books (again!) at the moment and getting an idea of how we used to live and what we had to worry about thousands of years ago somehow tends to put things in perspective! Love your post Wendi, thank you for sharing xx

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    • 🙂 I love that you think about recent compliments to change your thought patterns and it doesn’t sound self-centered at all. Instead, thinking happy thoughts about yourself sounds loving…….I love that you also spend some time outside to soak in nature………I have never heard of the book series you are reading, I am going to check them out! 🙂 Thank you.

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    • I love that you push your thoughts to things that you are thankful for! What a beautiful way to reduce stress and anxiety and fill your mind with blessings instead. 🙂 Wishing you a day that brings you smiles. 🙂 🙂

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  28. Thank you for this amazing post Wendi! I definitely worry and stress WAY too much, but I am trying to get better. I try to consume my mind with writing, anything that gets my mind focused on something else.You are an incredible person and I am thankful to call you a friend!

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  30. Thank you for sharing!!… when I find myself waking up on the green side of the grass, I know life has given me the chance to listen to my heart and follow my dreams no matter what challenges life has put in front of me.. “Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do…” Pope John XXIII

    May flowers always line your path
    and sunshine light your way,
    May songbirds serenade your
    every step along the way,
    May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue,
    And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.
    May the sun shine all day long
    Everything go right, nothing go wrong
    May those you love bring love back to you
    And may all the wishes you wish come true
    (Irish Saying)

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    • Oh wow, what a beautiful quote from Pope John XXIII, I have never heard this before, thank you for sharing. 🙂
      You are right, waking up on this side of the grass is always a blessing that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Bless you Dutch……..

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  32. I know how difficult it must be… Having been in my own deep dark well once upon a time…
    When I see the chaotic world around me, and being empathic has often taken its toll… I know some days I used to just crumple in a heap and cry… Not for myself but for the plight of others…
    I realised worry and those empathic feelings were doing me no favours within my own health… But how to stop feeling when you are a feeling person..
    You can’t just turn off your emotions… But what I did learn to do Wendi. was to step back from them.. I honoured the feelings… I acknowledged the grief, the hurts and wounds others were experiencing… But than I had to remind myself.. It was their experience… And I had a choice… I could choose to change my thoughts ..
    I could choose to create a different reality within my mind…
    Which is how I detached…. Learning to detach is not easy.. in fact its hard.. and it takes time to step back and view the world and others from a distance..
    But its possible..
    And I chose to Dream…. I choose to Dream into my vision a reality of a world of Peace, of healing of happiness and wellness… I choose to see a world drawn together in a happy caring community helping each other… Not hurting each other…
    And the more I dreamed it, the easier it became…
    And the happier within I became…
    Learning to breathe deeper bringing oxygen into my blood stream, taught me that I was helping my muscles become less stressed and tense… When we are worrying, we hold our tension inside, we hold our pain in our muscles… when we breath deeper in our meditations and mantras… We release into our bodies those hormones or what ever their names are, that help our bodies heal…
    It didnt happen over night.. It takes practice and it takes patience, it takes us to love ourselves deeper in that we are deserving of love, we are deserving of healing and we are deserving the Best…

    I hope this helps… Sending constant healing love and your name is in my healing book, I hold your name in my weekly prayers..
    Love and Blessings.. ❤ ❤ ❤ Much love to you Wendi.. ❤

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    • Thank you so much Sue, all of this does help and it makes a lot of sense. I am empathic, and it goes so much deeper than that but I don’t want to share too much as people tend to think you are crazy. Learning how to control this has been difficult because I didn’t realize what was happening to me. I truly believe that my autoimmune disorder is a result of me feeling too much.
      I am learning to take deep breaths, do guided meditations and try to step back from all that bombards my body and mind on a daily basis. Thank you for your friendship, your guidance and love. You have made such an enormous impact on my life and for this, I am eternally grateful.

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  36. I intentionally give my mind to God every day. I ask Him to remove anything unholy, untrue, unimportant, or unnecessarily negative and fill my mind with what’s true, noble, just, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:8) I say it out loud, so I hear myself. Quoting the Bible when I pray reinforces my faith and helps my mind “reset.”

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    • I love that you say and do what brings you closer to God…………and I appreciate you sharing it here. Feeling closer to God and doing His will is such a blessing……….May you feel God’s love and peace this evening

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      • Thanks, Wendi. It is such a blessing to feel His presence. It makes it easier to live for Him. Still, I have learned over the (many) years that though it s wonderful to feel close to God, I need to KNOW He’s near, whether I feel it or not. One of my biggest challenges is living out my faith without letting my feelings define me or control my behavior or beliefs. But consistently speaking the truth out loud helps my feelings to cooperate. 😉

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  38. The first thing I do is try to be aware that I am worrying or experiencing anxiety before I get too far . That’s the hardest part. Once I’m aware I usually am able to make a shift, change my pace, switch my activity, practice meditation…
    That’s a great question.

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    • thank you so much for stopping by and leaving these helpful comments. so happy that you are able to be aware of when your anxiety may get away from you……..this is a very important key as if you can redirect it you can usually take back control.
      I hope you and yours are well – please be safe.

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  39. In the past, I was addicted to worry. If I did not worry, I was worried why did I stop it. It was as bad. I knew it was a bad emotion, I hated it, but I could not stop it before I got saved and filled with the Holy Spirit! That is when I got the power to say no to worry. I replaced it with a new worry: the worry not to grieve the Holy Spirit. In other words, the fear of God killed other fears. That is how I became free! For the child of God it truly works! God bless you and keep you and make His light shine on you! In Jesus’ name!

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    • Dr. Leigh, thank you so very much for leaving this wonderful response! I work very hard through prayer and meditation to keep to keep focused on God but I fail, a lot. Thank you for your encouraging words and thank you so very much for the blessing, I happily accept it! 🙂 God bless you.

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      • Dear Wendi, by faith, I stretch my hand to you this evening… let us share in this your ‘failure’… two are better than one… my heart and my shoulders are stronger than yours… I do not mind helping you with prayer and words! God bless you! “Lean on me…” (singing…)

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