living our best live possible – bad days

/ simplywendi
brown and white bear plush toy

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This post is going to be different then what I have been posting recently, which has been my attempt at writing poetry.  I have enjoyed putting the words on the screen and deeply appreciate all the kind comments, deserved or not 🙂  so thank YOU!

This week I have been really struggling to come up with something to write.  This struggle caused me to reflect on why I started this blog in the first place.  My main purpose was to help others, who like myself, live with dreaded chronic illnesses.  When I began writing almost 2 years ago, I was so gung-ho, but the more I blogged and the more blogs I read, I became extremely intimiated by the high quality of writing and the vast amount of knowledge that so many others had, that I shyed away from my original intent.

So I decided that, at least for the near future, I will be asking those who grace me with your presence, to answer a different question each week, with each one relating to living our best life while chronically ill.

First, let me give Kim over at  I Tripped Over a Stone a HUGE shout out as she has inspired me to start asking questions.  Every week this amazingly beautiful soul asks her readers questions and the enjoyment I have received from answering and reading others responses has been surprising.  I encourage those of you who have not visited her site to please do so, thank you.

I realize that all of us suffer from different illnesses, affecting us in different ways.  But over the last 21 months I have come to realize that we share a lot more in common than not and we have so much to learn from each other.

So, without further ado, here is the first question:  How do you handle your very bad days?

For me, this is a tough one.  I have 4 kiddos at home and our situation is unique and one that I do not talk about as to protect the identity of my children.  But, even on my really bad days, more than likely I have to get out of bed.  So, I will drink some extra water, maybe be get into a hot shower, put on some loose comfortable clothing, try to drink a smoothie and take my supplements, and then pray for the best.  If I don’t have to get out of bed, I don’t, and I put on a movie, listen to an audiobook, YouTube, anything that does not require reading.

So, how about you guys?  How do you handle your bad days?  The more suggestions the better, you just never know who you may help.

 

139 thoughts on “living our best live possible – bad days”

  2. This is a great idea Wendi!💞💞💞👍👍👍 On my worst days I try to rest as much as possible while asking my four to help out with the kitchen duties. They are older now so it’s not as bad as if I had toddlers…..thankfully my body didn’t break until they were older. I still struggle to ask but my teenagers are so wonderful and have gotten used to it. I like to snuggle up with Moo Moo my dog who seems to understand too and is especially well behaved on those days! 🤣🐶

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  3. I try to focus on the good in my bad days. I look for the smile in someone else’s face, or the question of “how are you?”, from a person who truly cares.

    My heart goes out to people like my wife, and others, who deal with chronic pain and sickness, on a daily basis. When I see their struggle, their willingness to persevere, and their desire to trust God completely, I want to do everything I can to support them.

    My bad days are nothing in comparison to theirs.

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    • Thank you so very much for stopping by and leaving such helpful comments. Having someone who cares and a smile can lift our spirits and so appreciate these gestures too.
      I am so very sorry that you wife struggles daily and you are their to support her. Knowing you are loved and supported makes such an amazing difference.
      Thank you so much for sharing! God bless you.

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  5. First: I love your writing. Everyone has a different style, but different is different, not better or worse.
    Then: I am fortunate that my issues didn’t start until after I retired. I can mostly be on my own time, and I have an understanding husband. I had lots of time to research natural health.

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  6. When I wake up knowing it is a worst day, I ask Jesus to carry me through the day. Fortunately, I teach adults ESL and can sit for most of the class if I need to. I have free time in the afternoons, so if I need to, I can take a nap. I try to find time to rest in the middle of the day.

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  7. This a poem for all those, who use their faith to get out of bed. Who raise up daily, hoping to be able to inspire others. And even though some days, are more of a struggle than others; still you continue to rise… to inspire. So therefore, this poem is for you, your heart. You have inspired, and my heart is always moved. To write, and encourage your determination, and your faith! God bless you all!

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  8. In my bad days, I shrink into my own shell.. I try to divert my thoughts towards my hobbies, my love and passion for the things which may change my mind from the neg. feelings.. Like my choice of songs, my choice of films, my choice of food, extend my time to meditate on myself etc.,. In one word I try to be ‘selfish’ and pamper my ‘self’ the most, which makes me bounce back to help others later, with a fresh and rejuvenated mind.. In one way, I help myself then, to help others later, but better.. Thank you Wendy, for such a post.. God bless you and yours.. 🙏🏼😇💕

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    • This is such wonderful advice, to be selfish in the moment to expedite your healing. I love how you focus that which brings you pleasure, lifing your spirits. Thank you so very much for leaving such wonderful advice. God bless you!

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  12. This may be difficult to understand but I’ll ‘try’ to explain it Wendi 😀
    While our fears hold us in their patterns, we tend to turn inward and ‘feel’ everything from that ‘me’ perspective (and it is meant to do this).
    When that fear is understood, we let them go and turn outward, feeling from a much more relaxed and accepting ‘us’ perspective.
    That ‘me’ aggravates any condition that we have so that we go through and ‘feel’ and understand each and every part that it touches. And if we are able to go beyond those conditions and break free of our fears, our journey changes to such a degree that some even cure themselves.
    Now I personally have not been able to achieve that, but I have been able to reduce my fears enough to ‘smell the roses and enjoy the butterflies’ as I go on by. But, and I think like many, there are those days that you can’t move from the pain. That is when I have a little chat to God, spirit or even my higher self if it isn’t indulging in one of those silences where I need to ‘feel’ something 😀
    And don’t worry, the pain can get a little distracting at times that I just ‘let go’ and use the love I have become to do a healing on myself.
    Now the important bit….’it works’ lol 😀 I reach a point inside that painful ‘crescendo’ that I touch so much of my inner self that I appreciate all the more those days that I can go for a walk and smile with a hello to each that I pass by. The touching of that love is a most beautiful thing.
    Important bit no. two. After I had touched ‘death’ (My post ‘The Death’ up on the menu bar), I no longer fight those parts where I think I’m going to die. Don’t get me wrong, I have not actually died but I was shown and was able to ‘feel’ that ‘let go’, and inside that journey was the most profound and beautiful thing that I have ever touched.
    So I am now open and not holding, I am now fear free and no longer blocked, and most of all my love is a healing, to myself and others because it has been set free.
    You too can help to heal you. You would be surprised in the strength, power and love even in someone who has not gone through their fears. It is always a part of who we are, we have just blocked it a little with our fears, but it still works, and very well at that.
    Place your hands either side of where your pain is, and if it’s an auto immune disease that you can’t really feel…tell it to feel…and receive that inner love that you are. Clear your body, ask God to give you a hand and support you in that belief in what you wish to become. That inner love that will bring a smile each time you touch it because it is you, that beautiful majestic creation that you are, because of what you have become simply because of what you are now experiencing. It is a part of your journey to set your heart free ❤️

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    • Thank you so very much Mark for leaving such beautiful comments. You always leave such wonderfully helpful, encouraging and uplifting information. I actually do many of the things you wrote about, if I am able to have some time alone during my bad days……..but this is not always how it works at my house 🙂 But letting go of fear has helped me cope with being chronically ill. Thank you again, and I hope that as you continue to do internal work that you body receives the healing that you need. God bless you Mark!

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  13. Hi Wendi, my first time over in a while and I caught you on quite a different day.
    Hmmm, how do I handle my bad days?
    Well, it depends on how bad.
    I’m lucky I don’t have to do for anyone else, honestly I couldn’t on some days. So I’m glad I dont have that.
    On my worst days I have my emergency kit near, including throw up bucket, meds… and my walker. I keep snacks and drinks close so I don’t have to walk much.
    I text with a friend if I need…if one is available.
    I have a go-to list of shows I watch that take my mind of things but aren’t something I have to concentrate on. (Rupaul’s Drag Race and Great British Bake Off are my faves)
    I color by number. So silly for someone with a degree in art, but it’s mindless and it’s meditative, I just zone out.
    I wish I could say I meditate, but when I try I normally just get so dizzy and distraught. Before I lost my hearing meditation came much easier….that’s weird, I know.
    I cuddle with my dog.
    Use my ice hat and
    my heat pack that is shaped like a stuffed dog, he’s called Sir Dogalot. 😊
    And sometimes I just try to sleep.

    I’m intimidated by those other bloggers too, but the funny thing is, I like reading posts from people who aren’t big bloggers. Just average people talking about life and how they are dealing with day to day while being chronically ill. So why do I think I need to do so much more?

    Always good to “see” you.
    Thank you for being there for me.
    I sent you a message through your contact form but I don’t think you got it. It was over a month ago.
    xoxo. wendy

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    • Hey Wendy, first let me say that I am THRILLED to see you here! second, no, I did not receive it and I am so very sorry that I didn’t, I would have responded – I promise. If you feel up to sending it again, I will be sure to look for it.
      Thank you also for your encouraging words on my writing, you are so very kind.
      Thank you so very much for taking the time to write about what you do on your bad days, which sounds horrible. I loved reading that you have a Sir Dogalot 🙂 I think I need a heating pack shaped like a cute little animal.
      Thank you again Wendy for stopping by, I so appreciate all the info you have provided here. God bless you.

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  14. Pingback: To live our very best lives- How to manage a bad day. – Keep it alive

  17. Wendi, never shy away from sharing your heart. Each of us has a unique perspective and a unique sphere of influence. Gifts and knowledge may vary, but God has placed each of us in the position He wants us so we can best grow in grace and minister to others. ♥

    I don’t know if I ever told you, but 24 years ago I was hit with transverse myelitis, where a virus attacks the spine and then an autoimmune reaction sets the body to attack the myelin sheath around the nerves of the spine. One morning one arm felt a little funny, like I had slept on it wrong–in three hours, that arm was numb as well as both legs, and I couldn’t walk on my own.

    Recovery took a long time. I’m left with a hand that feels like it has a glove on all the time, legs with not-quite-right sensation, balance issues. But I was able to walk again, take care of my family, basically function. I’m thankful.

    For a long time, any exertion would knock me flat. If I had an activity I wanted to go to in the evening, I had to rest all the day before and after.

    One thing the worst days taught me was what was really important. We spend our days Martha-like, in good service yet “cumbered about.” When you only have so much energy, you realize some of the things you thought were important aren’t really. My kids also enjoyed the fact that I was a captive audience. 🙂 I enjoyed that we could all spread out on the bed and just talk with my full attention on them rather than trying to listen while doing half a dozen other things.

    I also learned the value of rest. In the first year or so after TM, even a minor cold could lay me low. I had no choice but to rest. But my colds never lasted long or got severe. It clicked that maybe resting at the start of a cold helped to head it off, instead of pushing myself until I couldn’t go any further.

    Sometimes it’s frustrating to wonder why God has allowed these limitations, when there so much more we could do without them. Something Elisabeth Elliot said ministered to me: limitations don’t hinder our ministry, they define it (I wrote more about that here: https://barbarah.wordpress.com/2015/10/01/31-days-with-elisabeth-elliot-limitations/).

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    • Barbara, no I had no idea that you went through all of this and i am so very sorry to read this. I am familiar with what you had but thankful I have never experienced it. Thank you so very much for sharing your story, I am sure it will help someone who may be going through something similar – it always helps to know that you are not alone. Thank you for leaving the link, I look forward to reading it. God bless you my friend.

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  18. After reading through many of your responses it looks like each of us have learned
    to deal with our own set of problems in our own way.
    Some of us, like me, have had the help of either a physician or counselor, or have
    lived with the difficulties and challenges for so long that we have found a way dealing
    with them.

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    • Thank you so very much Eddie for stopping by and leaving comments, I deeply appreciate it. I am thrilled to read that you have received help and have found a way to deal with your illnesses – God bless you Eddie 🙂

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  19. First of all, I’m glad you are here, just as you are. Secondly, I cannot imagine having four children and coping with chronic illness – you are now my hero.
    Today is a bad day here. I have had two attempts at waking up and now surrendered to the fact that the day will not amount to much. Heating pad is deployed as I sip hot tea. Husband will make a healthy dinner. Today I rest.

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    • Oh VJ……you writing that I am your hero brought me to tears and I want to send my deepest thanks for acknowledging living this life with kiddos. My story is very long, but I did not know about my illnesses until my fourth child was born. Not only do I live with multiple chronic illnesses, so do some of my children as I passed a couple along. I have to admit, some days feel more than I can handle. But, today we are all ok.
      I am sorry today is a bad day for you, I know in those moments you wonder if you are going to have another good day or is this going to be your new normal. But you my dear will have many better days to come! I
      am thankful to read that your husband is going to make you a healthy dinner. 🙂 God bless you VJ and don’t forget to be kind to youself.

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  21. Wendi, this is such a great idea. Reading through some of these comments I realize how many people out there are suffering and it is so sad to see. There are so many great tips on ways they get through that. All kind and beautiful people. V.J. made a good point when she wrote she doesn’t know how you do it with four kids, either do I. That’s what makes this story of yours so heartwarming and amazing. How strong you are.
    On my bad days I go out in nature. Take a walk, or sit out in my garden doing a crafts. This seems to help tremendously. I hope you and all your followers have a beautiful weekend and many good days to come as well.

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    • I am truly humbled by your words, thank you. Writing that I am strong is so sweet, but I can tell you, I do not feel strong…….most of the time I feel like I need to run out the door like my hair is on fire 🙂
      I love how your blog focuses on what brings you joy (nature and crafting) and now I see that this is what also helps you on your bad days……..surrounding yourself with natural beauty does something healing to your soul for sure.
      Thank you so very much for stopping by and leaving such lovely words behind. God bless you!

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      • 🙂 I can’t run anymore 🙂 and I promise I won’t. I do enjoy interacting with others, like you, here on WP, so many amazing people. It is a dream of mine to one day meet all of you. Thank you so much for your prayers, I treasure each one! 🙂

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  23. Thank you for sharing!!.. I follow my heart… 🙂

    “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”… Marilyn Monroe

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  24. Wendi first of all be yourself, and have your blog the way you want it to be, or how you think it should be! I agree that you encourage us!
    Now for me I have chronic pain and deal with it through stretching, walking and yes medicine. I also use alternative medicine which helps one heck of alot.
    As for blogging I have thought many times of retiring from it, but I have decided not quite yet, even though I’m working a regular job. You see I love writing and it gives me something else to focus on. There is also a spiritual element about poetry that I like to tap into.
    Blessings to you my friend, and peace.

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  25. You are a very good writer, as the huge number of replies attest. I never know how the next day will be. Soon, though, I can tell. On the bad days I tell my wife, so she knows I’m not pouting. I start with some breakfast blend coffee or strong tea. Then come a shower and comfortable clothes. From there I just start and see what happens. Not very original, I’m afraid.

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    • Bless you for your kind words, thank you so much. Thank you also for sharing how you deal with your bad days. I love how you share how you feel with your wife and then see what happens. I also find that on bad days comfortable clothing is a MUST. Of course, I spend more time in pjs then regular clothing. I feel like it is my uniform 🙂
      God bless you for sharing! I really appreciate it.

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  26. What an amazing amount of support and insightful replies Wendi, well done for asking a question that struck the hearts of many!

    As for what works for me, I’m learning to listen to my body by acknowledging it. I’m also learning to accept rather than resist the challenging hours or days. I’m trying to just show up to each day and appreciate how lucky I am. This is a learning curve 20 years in the making but getting sweeter!

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  28. Oooo this is a cool idea! I always find it interesting to see how others manage their days too, so a great first question to start on. Four kiddos, yikes! I’m exhausted at just the idea 😂They’re definitely a reason to keep fighting and keep getting out of bed for though. I think your compassion must make you one hell of a good mom. On my super duper bad days, I don’t remember what I do because it’s like I’m not with it at all, but I get told stories afterwards by my mum who says she saw me crawling to the bathroom (v.rare but it’s happened). On the generally bad days, I try to do the basics, to freshen up and get things done as much as possible, but I’ll likely spend more time reading snuggled in bed. xx

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    • Thank you so very much Caz for your encouraging words, I really want to spend some time learning from each other and who knows, maybe we may each find something that will help!?
      I am so very sorry to read that you have been ill enough to crawl on the floor, thank goodness I have only experienced this twice and I pray – never again. I love how to wrote that you stick to the basics, such an important step in not over doing it so – hopefully – the next day will be better. I am sure your body appreciates the snuggles in bed 🙂
      God bless you for taking the time to visit and leaving a helpful response for others to read. Wishing you smiles 🙂

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  30. My really bad days are spent in my best jammies, in case I wind up in the ER, curled up in bed and just waiting for it to pass. Been more of these recently and I feel like I’m waiting for life to pass me by some days. I don’t like that, I’m a seize the day kind of person. But when you can barely walk, or breathe, or eat, or drink, or think, you just have to wait.

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  31. I love your answers, especially since they are much like how I prefer to deal with things.
    Being freshly clean, and in comfy fitting clothes with no need to get out of the bed tends to be a must just to keep pain levels down. But the privilege to watch or listen to something that doesn’t require reading (or even thinking) is a huge blessing. Sometimes I find I binge on comedies with the comfort that I don’t have to crack even one smile.
    Let me assure you that I am blessed by your blog no matter how you choose to blog. That is between you and God. I know He sure brought you to mind tonight when nominating for the Virtuous Woman Award. Thank you for being you! Your love for God is refreshing and reliable! ❤ Me and God love you, Wendi!
    https://gaillovesgod.blog/2019/10/23/the-virtuous-woman-award-10-3-19/

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    • oh Gail, I am so touched by all the kind things that you wrote, I am truly humbled and deeply appreciative of all that you wrote. Thank you from the bottom on my heart!
      Thank you also to leaving such helpful comments. As I was reading i was shocked at how similar our coping strategies are! If you have any suggestions for comedies to watch, I would love to read them. I am always looking for new things!
      Thank you so very much Gail……..you are such a light in this world.

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  32. I don’t have a chronic illness, but I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs and ruined half of the disks in my back. I suffer from constant non-stop pain.

    My bad days? I try to get my mind off my pain. I write as much as I can. Go to the beach and watch the sea. I always find it calming.

    Hope you are having a good week. And the poetry. It will come.

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    • Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry to read that you have suffered such a horrible injury. How scary and frustrating this must be.
      But, I am so thankful that you took the time and energy to leave such helpful comments on how you try to divert your attention from your pain to something more productive, I know what a challenge that can be.
      I love that you are able to go to the beach and watch the waves rolling in…….this is something that I visualize on my bad days, there is something so soothing about the sound of water and the breeze that rushes over your body, for me it feels like a spiritual cleasning.
      God bless you………and thank you for the encouraging comment! May your day bring you smiles. 🙂

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  33. On my worst days I use a lot of mindfulness techniques from my Pain management Courses I take. I lay down and breathe in and out while completely relaxing my muscles. sometimes I do fall asleep which is best trust me. When I wake up the pain is usually gone away. I hope this helps just one person some where out in wordpress land.

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  35. First dear Wendi let me say to you, that your writing skills are most excellent and you have nothing to fear in that dept, I love the skill in which you write poetry to convey your feelings and you have often touched my heart with your words..
    Second, I am so sorry that you have your bad days, but I see how you are not even letting that get you down as you arrange you day according to your needs..

    Thankfully these days, I do not have bad days, not like I used to in the past with my FMS… But when I did have a bad day coupled with perhaps a huge Migraine attack, I would just set myself small goals and not be disappointed if I didn’t achieve all I wanted to that day.. Telling myself I would do more the next day and so on..
    So my answer would be… Be gentle with yourself and love yourself, and not get frustrated … as you tried your best…

    Sending love and well wishes my friend ❤

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    • Sue, your words really touched me and I sincerely appreciate your kindness. The thought that anything I have written has meant something to you, means so very much to me.
      Thank you so very much for your suggestions. I do try to be kind and patient with myself but I do struggle. Having kids who still need me on a daily basis and them living with a sick mom for so many years……..it’s just hard.
      Bless you for being so amazing Sue!

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