Tears

/ simplywendi
under water photo

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There are days that I just can not pretend to be ok for one more second.  The pain. The fog.  The fear.  The unknown.  It gets the best of me, despite how hard I try to ignore it.  It is in these moments that I fall apart.

I cry a personal brook, weeping myself into moments of inconsolable sadness.  As I try to pull myself out of the despair, I think about all the people who have it worse, who are in their own part of the world crying their own personal stream………babbling to themselves that no one understands.

I visualize the tears of those who cry out for help………turning into streams………the streams all meeting up forming an ocean of tears…..

These tears are not seen by many, only those who live within the ocean, on an island of illness………..it is only when the winds pick up and the ocean gains strength enough to cry out do we really see the others who live here too.

But here in the ocean of tears, you find an abundance of life, completely different than what you would find on land –  but beautiful just the same.

 

 

~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.

 

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156 thoughts on “Tears”

  7. “Here in the ocean of tears you find an abundance of life”. That is true, and requires the overriding desire to be in truth, and to find the light and love that exists everywhere always. When I find that place of acceptance, when I don’t wish for my pain or losses to be anything other than exactly what they are in this moment, and the next moment and the next; only then am I open enough to honor that emerging life.I honor your journey, Wendi. We are all fellow travelers no matter which path we follow through oceans or on the land. Thank you for sharing yours.

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  13. Blast these chains that bind you Wendi! If only becoming angry or prayerful could change reality, how quickly would we make this physically better.
    I hope you find some peace, if even a little, even if just in your soul.

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  14. You have my empathy dear lady, they seem to be the most lonely, painful paths that we must endure on our own, even if you have someone standing next to you. But apparently it is a very heartfelt journey where we find ourselves. We do, but some days you just want it to stop, just so you can do something simple like get up from your bed or have the strength to just make a cup of coffee.
    Many hugs coming to you, heartfelt ones that ‘know’ a similar journey ❤
    P.S. I didn't let it beat me, I make a thermos of coffee now and take it back with me 😀

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    • Mark I am so deeply sorry that you know a similar journey. I realize there are just so many people like us, hurting, in pain, doing their very best just to get through the day. Please know that I deeply appreciate each word you left, they were encouraging and loving and helpful. God bless you my friend.

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      • Thank you for your blessings kind lady. My circumstances are only minimal compared to many, but like them all, we all fall into a hole occasionally just so we can touch that inner place.
        May your ‘inner places’ have a smooth runway, comfortable seats and a steward always on hand 😀 ❤️ 🙏

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      • Thank you so very much Mark. If I had one wish it would be to heal all people!
        Your last sentence was so wonderful…….I may just need to memorize it! 🙂 May your day bring you smiles.

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  20. You are allowed tears dear Wendi, allow them to flow,.. When the Earth rains down its tears, it cleanses the land, refreshes the waterways, it quenches the parched earth. So too our bodies need to clear out the frustrations, the blocked energies, tears are our release.. Allow them to flow.. Coming to this post last, its ironic that i spoke about tears in your storm post.
    I pray you will find higher ground soon, as the flood waters recede..
    Sending continued love and well wishes Wendi. ❤

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  23. My dear, Wendi, praying that you are feeling much better today. I can’t imagine what you must be going through nor can I pretend to. I pray that your “storm” will lift and soon. The fact that no matter how you’re feeling, you’re always there encouraging and uplifting others. That speaks volumes of the person you are. May God continue to bless you, my dear friend 🙂

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  24. Every word cuts like a knife my dear Wendi and I felt like I could have written this. I felt like this just this week. Unable to hold back the tears without any particular trigger. It is at a moment when our strength is exhausted and our bucket of emotions can’t hold another drop, that the sadness has to spill out to make room for more to be endured. It is in those times that are the scariest of all that we forget that we are not alone. It doesn’t mater in those moments and we have to dig deep to hang on for yet another day.
    But there is also a light, a sharing, a knowing that this too shall pass. Hang on to that little thread and know you are needed here. Know what a difference you make and know that you are loved. I am wrapping in the mist comfortable blanket ever, to allow your weapons to drop, to cry, to gather new strengths while offering protection and stillness for however long you need it. Much love ❤️

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    • I am so very sorry that you understood these words all too well, that breaks my heart. Your words “It is at a moment when our strength is exhausted and our bucket of emotions can’t hold another drop, that the sadness has to spill out to make room for more to be endured” is exactly what was on my heart but you said it so much more beautifully. Thank you for always being so encouraging and loving………it makes my heart so much lighter. Bless you!

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  30. We all go through this sometimes. It hurts, but it does get better. I am so glad that you have an outlet for your feelings. I tend to bottle stuff up which really isn’t healthy.

    I always cringe internally whenever someone refers to me as one of the “good” wheelchair users. “Oh, honey, you are so inspiring and happy. You aren’t like those ones that cry about their illness or complain about it”

    The problem is that I am one of those people who occasionally complain about the hard parts of my life, just like anyone else. Would they still call me inspirational if they knew I cry in the bathtub? Would I still be one of the good ones if they knew that I wasn’t completely at peace with my disability, 24/7?

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    • I so appreciate you comments! When you have to deal with medical issues day in and day out, no matter how positive you want to be, there are moments it all becomes too much. People who don’t have to live “this way” has absolutely NO idea what it is like. Thank you so very much for being honest………your honesty is inspirational! The truth is a very beautiful thing. Bless you!

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  31. i need you help today. I’m wanting to feel justified in being angry and frustrated that a family member has a chronic illness, self-caused, that requires he be hospitalized. And while a significant other mentions my hospitalizations in past for a chronic condition (it seems to be dormant for the last couple years), I’m not having the comparison. I had surgery; I made lifestyle changes. But for those whose illness is beyond will / choices to control, is not the same as illness that we have the ability (if not the will) to change. Right? I am asking for His Wisdom and not to be like the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector – thinking I’m better…. Thank you for commenting on my post today!

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    • this is really tough one Eric. I cannot imagine someone would want to be ill. As you know chronic illnesses are a horrible things to live with, and in my situation, I have absolutely no control over it. it is congenital and has led to all my other illnesses.
      That being said, in my former life I worked in a hospital and saw many people who were there because of life style choices, but my heart still ached for them. Once I sat and listened to their stories I discovered that there were circumstances that were beyond their control that led up to their unhealthy behaviors. Sometimes the best we can do for someone is love them from afar……….but, if you have it in your heart to love them in person, it sometimes makes all the difference in the world.
      Happy Father’s Day……..we are so blessed to have a heavenly father who loves us unconditionally.
      Praising God with you that your condition is currently dormant!

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  35. I love the first line of this post the most. There are days we can’t pretend. (1) It’s funny how we sometimes live our lives pretending to be something we’re not. And then (2) there are days we eventually hit that wall and just can’t anymore. . .

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  38. This resonated with me. “But here in the ocean of tears, you find an abundance of life, completely different than what you would find on land – but beautiful just the same.” Isn’t it odd how the crosses are the most poignant for others to be inspired by? What I mean by that is that the resurrection would not be as powerful had it not been for the cross. Grace and peace dear one.

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  42. Those tears are beautiful to God! You go ahead and let them flow! I don’t think you are being selfish at all! It’s true that others may be having it harder, but only you can feel YOUR pain. God loves those tears, so much so that He collects them in a bottle! Maybe He has each one of us with our own personally labeled bottle up there?🤷‍♀️ God are and heard your cries. 🤗❤️

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  46. WOW Wendi, this was so powerful. I could honestly feel every word you wrote and in more ways than I can even explain. I haven’t shared anything on my blog about it because of who I know reads it and I don’t need them knowing. I think it is the tears we shed that make us as strong as we are. The pain we tend to hide and the sadness we feel deep inside only gets stronger. I want you to know that I am always here for you and I would do anything to take pain away from you. No one as sweet and loving as you should ever feel pain and have one tear fall from your beautiful eyes.

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