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There are days that I just can not pretend to be ok for one more second. The pain. The fog. The fear. The unknown. It gets the best of me, despite how hard I try to ignore it. It is in these moments that I fall apart.
I cry a personal brook, weeping myself into moments of inconsolable sadness. As I try to pull myself out of the despair, I think about all the people who have it worse, who are in their own part of the world crying their own personal stream………babbling to themselves that no one understands.
I visualize the tears of those who cry out for help………turning into streams………the streams all meeting up forming an ocean of tears…..
These tears are not seen by many, only those who live within the ocean, on an island of illness………..it is only when the winds pick up and the ocean gains strength enough to cry out do we really see the others who live here too.
But here in the ocean of tears, you find an abundance of life, completely different than what you would find on land – but beautiful just the same.
~ wendi is the author of two books, you can view them here.
Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
💗sending love
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thank you so very much! i deeply appreciate your kindness……..
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I hope that you feel better soon. There are times when the tears need to be shed. It makes the heart lighter.
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thank you so very much Sadje………you are so right, tears can be very cleansing. I deeply appreciate your kind and insightful words. bless you my friend.
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You too! Take care
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Bless you!
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😍
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Very beautiful, but sorry you are in so much pain.
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I deeply appreciate your kindness in everything you write. Bless you.
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Blessings to you! 🙂
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I love it! Thank you for sharing!
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thank you, I pray you are doing well.
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I am. Working on some new stuff to post. Thank you! 💜
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looking forward to it!
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very nice
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thank you so very much, may your day bring you smiles. 🙂
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I’m in that ocean of tears with you, I see you, I see your hurt. This is a beautiful piece, Wendi ♥
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Bless you my dear friend……….I know you do and I know there are so many of us out here……..I am saddened and blessed to be in such amazing company.
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“Here in the ocean of tears you find an abundance of life”. That is true, and requires the overriding desire to be in truth, and to find the light and love that exists everywhere always. When I find that place of acceptance, when I don’t wish for my pain or losses to be anything other than exactly what they are in this moment, and the next moment and the next; only then am I open enough to honor that emerging life.I honor your journey, Wendi. We are all fellow travelers no matter which path we follow through oceans or on the land. Thank you for sharing yours.
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wow Judi, the beauty of your comments blew me away and I so appreciate each word you typed……..I feel blessed to have received such lovely words and kindness. Thank you very much.
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BIG (((HUGS)))!!!, Wendi! I know what it is like to live with pain. Bless you!! 🦋🦋🦋
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I know you do, and I am so very sorry that you understand AmyRose………..bless you for your steadfast kindness.
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It’s all in the attitude, as you well know. But, there are those days that I still say. ….. How I wish I did not have to live like this. It’s so important to take time out to rest and to eat good. No matter what, do not give up. That goes for the both of us. XOXO
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yes………there are days. I just wish I could be more for my kiddos……….but you are right, just keep doing the best we can and go on. God bless you for your kindness!
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And God bless you for making the most of the “lessons” you have been given. 💜💜💜
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awww………thank you so much. That is such a wonderful thing to hear! 🙂
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❤️
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Bless you.
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Awe. I’m teary eyed. Well written.
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Thank you so very much Kim………….I so appreciate your support!
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Absolutely!
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Wendi I’m so sorry💕 Wishing we could all go a good bit of time without the sadness that washes over us from chronic illness. Sending you hugs and wishes for better days🌸
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me too! i know you understand………..some days, it all becomes way too much. bless you my friend.
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I understand.
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God bless you!
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Blast these chains that bind you Wendi! If only becoming angry or prayerful could change reality, how quickly would we make this physically better.
I hope you find some peace, if even a little, even if just in your soul.
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What beautiful comments Mark. I deeply appreciate your thoughtfulness and kindness………I can tell you have insights into chronic illnesses. God bless you.
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You have my empathy dear lady, they seem to be the most lonely, painful paths that we must endure on our own, even if you have someone standing next to you. But apparently it is a very heartfelt journey where we find ourselves. We do, but some days you just want it to stop, just so you can do something simple like get up from your bed or have the strength to just make a cup of coffee.
Many hugs coming to you, heartfelt ones that ‘know’ a similar journey ❤
P.S. I didn't let it beat me, I make a thermos of coffee now and take it back with me 😀
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Mark I am so deeply sorry that you know a similar journey. I realize there are just so many people like us, hurting, in pain, doing their very best just to get through the day. Please know that I deeply appreciate each word you left, they were encouraging and loving and helpful. God bless you my friend.
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Thank you for your blessings kind lady. My circumstances are only minimal compared to many, but like them all, we all fall into a hole occasionally just so we can touch that inner place.
May your ‘inner places’ have a smooth runway, comfortable seats and a steward always on hand 😀 ❤️ 🙏
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Thank you so very much Mark. If I had one wish it would be to heal all people!
Your last sentence was so wonderful…….I may just need to memorize it! 🙂 May your day bring you smiles.
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So many of these words hide in my soul, but find no courage to speak.
I am praying for you dearest Wendi! Me and God love you!
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God bless you Gail for always having encouraging words to say, I deeply appreciate each and every one! 🙂
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❤ God does it for me! We both appreciate you too!
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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((❤️))
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🙂 thank you.
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a great analogy, I have no idea of the pain and uncertainty you have to face daily … pray your burden lightens and you can smile through the veil of tears …
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thank you so very much Kate………..I do try very hard to smile through 🙂 Bless you for your kindness.
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can’t imagine the damage long term pain does to the psyche … take care sweet lady!
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thank you so very much Kate for trying to understand…………there are moments that it all becomes just too much.
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I’m sure but our world would be much poorer without you!
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you know how to bring tears to a girl’s eyes! bless you so very much for your kindness………..I treasure it.
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Wendi you are a blessing to us 😎
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Bless you Kate! 🙂 I am so very humbled.
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Tears act as a medium for expression and sometimes a conduit for cleansing. Often in our sorrows, we forget about others. Empathy is something we should never give up. Nice post.Wendi. Love and hugs to you.
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what beautiful comments you left Megha! I am so thankful for your kindness and insight. Bless you for taking the time to stop by and bless me with your beautiful thoughts. 🙂
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Aww you are my favorire Wendi.
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I am so humbled by your kind words! 🙂
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May the abundance of life, wash over your heart with the love that surrounds! God bless!
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what a beautiful comment Warren, thank you so very much!
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You’re welcome
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You are allowed tears dear Wendi, allow them to flow,.. When the Earth rains down its tears, it cleanses the land, refreshes the waterways, it quenches the parched earth. So too our bodies need to clear out the frustrations, the blocked energies, tears are our release.. Allow them to flow.. Coming to this post last, its ironic that i spoke about tears in your storm post.
I pray you will find higher ground soon, as the flood waters recede..
Sending continued love and well wishes Wendi. ❤
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Bless you Sue………I so agree with you, tears have always provided me with a feeling of cleaning, of clearing out the old fears, hurts and frustrations and allow me to refocus on my healing. I know there are so many others out there like me, and it breaks my heart………I so wish I could heal the world! And I know you feel the same!
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Yes, I too wish we could heal the world and stop all suffering within it.. But through out the years too, I have also come to understand the only person I can truly heal is myself. The only person I can change is myself, And by changing myself, hopefully I help change the world. 🙂
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You are absolutely right Sue……….you have absolutely changed mine………..for the better!
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I am so pleased to have been that spark to ignite your thoughts …. for the better Wendi.. Much love dear friend ❤ Take care of You.. ❤
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Bless you my friend. 🙂
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Lovely Wendi! Hope you are feeling better. Sending you a smile 😃🤗.
Your in my thoughts and prayers.
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God bless you Yonnie………your kindness is such a blessing to me.
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You are certainly welcome Wendi. God bless you too!
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Hugs around you dear Wendi,
No one escapes suffering.
Sending love,
not just because you are sweet and dear
not just to soothe you pain
but because, your heart and smile are so very big!
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Eddie, bless you for your extreme kindness, I am deeply appreciative! 🙂
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My dear, Wendi, praying that you are feeling much better today. I can’t imagine what you must be going through nor can I pretend to. I pray that your “storm” will lift and soon. The fact that no matter how you’re feeling, you’re always there encouraging and uplifting others. That speaks volumes of the person you are. May God continue to bless you, my dear friend 🙂
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Oh Grace, you have always been so very kind to me and I deeply appreciate it! I can feel the kindness of your spirit in your words. God bless you my friend. 🙂
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Wendi, I feel the same about you. Have a splentastic weekend 😊
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God bless you Grace! 🙂
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Every word cuts like a knife my dear Wendi and I felt like I could have written this. I felt like this just this week. Unable to hold back the tears without any particular trigger. It is at a moment when our strength is exhausted and our bucket of emotions can’t hold another drop, that the sadness has to spill out to make room for more to be endured. It is in those times that are the scariest of all that we forget that we are not alone. It doesn’t mater in those moments and we have to dig deep to hang on for yet another day.
But there is also a light, a sharing, a knowing that this too shall pass. Hang on to that little thread and know you are needed here. Know what a difference you make and know that you are loved. I am wrapping in the mist comfortable blanket ever, to allow your weapons to drop, to cry, to gather new strengths while offering protection and stillness for however long you need it. Much love ❤️
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I am so very sorry that you understood these words all too well, that breaks my heart. Your words “It is at a moment when our strength is exhausted and our bucket of emotions can’t hold another drop, that the sadness has to spill out to make room for more to be endured” is exactly what was on my heart but you said it so much more beautifully. Thank you for always being so encouraging and loving………it makes my heart so much lighter. Bless you!
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Let them flow dear Wendi and once your heart is unburdened … resurrect for you have the strength to face any storm ….God bless you dear……. ❤️❤️❤️
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What beautiful words Sakshi! You are so right, tears have a beautiful way of cleansing our heart and soul. Bless You!
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Stay blessed dear friend 🙏😊❣️
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My thoughts are with you. I hope that you are feeling better soon.
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bless you for your kindness Sheryl, i deeply appreciate you.
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Powerful. Totally relate 💕 and so glad you drew on the beauty that tears can be
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thank you so very much for your kind comments. I deeply appreciate you taking the time to stop by for a visit. 🙂
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This is so deep and beautiful. It is ok to cry, and let that heart experience the lighter version of you – and you are so right when we look at others who are in pain, somehow we find solace – stay blessed
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thank you for all of your encouraging words and kind, thoughtful comments, each one is deeply appreciated.
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My absolute pleasure dear Wendi
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bless you 🙂
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😊🌸
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Sending a life raft full of love and support. 💕
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bless you Alexis for your kind words.
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We all go through this sometimes. It hurts, but it does get better. I am so glad that you have an outlet for your feelings. I tend to bottle stuff up which really isn’t healthy.
I always cringe internally whenever someone refers to me as one of the “good” wheelchair users. “Oh, honey, you are so inspiring and happy. You aren’t like those ones that cry about their illness or complain about it”
The problem is that I am one of those people who occasionally complain about the hard parts of my life, just like anyone else. Would they still call me inspirational if they knew I cry in the bathtub? Would I still be one of the good ones if they knew that I wasn’t completely at peace with my disability, 24/7?
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I so appreciate you comments! When you have to deal with medical issues day in and day out, no matter how positive you want to be, there are moments it all becomes too much. People who don’t have to live “this way” has absolutely NO idea what it is like. Thank you so very much for being honest………your honesty is inspirational! The truth is a very beautiful thing. Bless you!
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i need you help today. I’m wanting to feel justified in being angry and frustrated that a family member has a chronic illness, self-caused, that requires he be hospitalized. And while a significant other mentions my hospitalizations in past for a chronic condition (it seems to be dormant for the last couple years), I’m not having the comparison. I had surgery; I made lifestyle changes. But for those whose illness is beyond will / choices to control, is not the same as illness that we have the ability (if not the will) to change. Right? I am asking for His Wisdom and not to be like the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector – thinking I’m better…. Thank you for commenting on my post today!
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this is really tough one Eric. I cannot imagine someone would want to be ill. As you know chronic illnesses are a horrible things to live with, and in my situation, I have absolutely no control over it. it is congenital and has led to all my other illnesses.
That being said, in my former life I worked in a hospital and saw many people who were there because of life style choices, but my heart still ached for them. Once I sat and listened to their stories I discovered that there were circumstances that were beyond their control that led up to their unhealthy behaviors. Sometimes the best we can do for someone is love them from afar……….but, if you have it in your heart to love them in person, it sometimes makes all the difference in the world.
Happy Father’s Day……..we are so blessed to have a heavenly father who loves us unconditionally.
Praising God with you that your condition is currently dormant!
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again, I really appreciate you insight. And my prayers for your strength and vitality!
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God bless you Eric!
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So powerful. May you have more good days than bad days. 🙂
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thank you so very much Robert for your comment! and bless you for your kindness…..
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If you ever need to talk, just fetch me, Wendi. Love, Tamara
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Bless you for your kindness Tamara! 🙂
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I love the first line of this post the most. There are days we can’t pretend. (1) It’s funny how we sometimes live our lives pretending to be something we’re not. And then (2) there are days we eventually hit that wall and just can’t anymore. . .
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Thank you so very much………..and you are absolutely right……..some days we just can’t do anymore. Bless you for reading this post so nicely! 🙂
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Really resonated with me here… with all that’s going on atm in our lives – hope all’s well for you!
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I am so very sorry that this spoke to you…….we live with multiple chronic illnesses daily in our family and I know how tough life can be.
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Beautiful💜 You’re not alone, I’m on that island with you! ((Hugs))
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so sorry you are on this island too……..but i am happy to know i am in such amazing company.
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Likewise, hugs my friend❤
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🙂
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This resonated with me. “But here in the ocean of tears, you find an abundance of life, completely different than what you would find on land – but beautiful just the same.” Isn’t it odd how the crosses are the most poignant for others to be inspired by? What I mean by that is that the resurrection would not be as powerful had it not been for the cross. Grace and peace dear one.
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You are absolutely right. Thank you so very much for taking the time to stop by and leave such a beautiful comment. I deeply appreciate it. May your day bring you smiles. 🙂
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You’re welcome Wendi!
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bless you!
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Wendi this is absolutely beautifully expressive.There is much transparency filled, so much emotion.
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thank you so very much Yonnie, I always appreciate your beautiful thoughts and comments.
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You are certainly welcome I’m truly grateful. 🙏😊
Wendi, the feeling is mutual. 💜🤗
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🙂 God bless you Yonnie! 🙂
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God bless you too Wendi
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many many thanks! 🙂
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You are quite welcome 💜😊
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You are in my thoughts & prayers💜🌸
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God bless you!
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Blessings to you Wendi💜😊
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thank you!
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💜😊
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Get energetic soon. Time is best healer and tears gives us strength. Beautifully penned..
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thank you so very much…….
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Those tears are beautiful to God! You go ahead and let them flow! I don’t think you are being selfish at all! It’s true that others may be having it harder, but only you can feel YOUR pain. God loves those tears, so much so that He collects them in a bottle! Maybe He has each one of us with our own personally labeled bottle up there?🤷♀️ God are and heard your cries. 🤗❤️
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thank you so very much for you kind comments Renee! they brought a huge smile to my face. If God is collecting my tears He has barrels 🙂
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That He does my friend, that He does! 😄🤗
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🙂
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* I meant at the end of that, that God knows and hears your cries.
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🙂 bless you!
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🤗
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So beautiful, so sad, so true. Sending hugs. 💕
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thank you so very much Amanda for taking the time to stop by and comment. I always appreciate your visits 🙂
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Wendi, this speaks volumes! May this reach those others who are hurting physically, mentally and spiritually. May they see that in their ocean of tears they are not alone.
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🙂 thank you so very much Stuart for your kind comments, I deeply appreciate it……….we are never alone………..something I try to remind myself of daily! 🙂 God bless you my friend.
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You are very welcome Wendi! God bless you too!
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🙂
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WOW Wendi, this was so powerful. I could honestly feel every word you wrote and in more ways than I can even explain. I haven’t shared anything on my blog about it because of who I know reads it and I don’t need them knowing. I think it is the tears we shed that make us as strong as we are. The pain we tend to hide and the sadness we feel deep inside only gets stronger. I want you to know that I am always here for you and I would do anything to take pain away from you. No one as sweet and loving as you should ever feel pain and have one tear fall from your beautiful eyes.
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Very well done my dear Alyssa! You made me cry from reading these beautiful comments. 🙂 I am sorry that you can feel the words I wrote, I so wish that this wasn’t true and I am sorry that you have junk going on in your life – it is so unfair when we are hurt by others. Please know that I am also here for you…………anytime!
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Oh dear I never meant to make you cry. When I read your post, it definitely resonated with me and many tears fell. The junk I am dealing with should not be continuing, but I can’t fix the problems of others. My husband has been dealing with some awful issues and it breaks my heart. It is hard knowing something is broken and not having the means to fix it. Sadly, the only person that can put the pieces back together is himself. I hope the rest of your weekend goes well and you are feeling the best you can!!
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it was a good cry! knowing that you understood and could FEEL what I typed…..it sure means a lot. I am so sorry to read about your husband, I will pray for him………watching someone you love hurt is exactly what I wrote about in “a part of me dies” I get it, maybe not the same thing…….but I completely understand and I am so very sorry!
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Thank you Wendi! My husband has been struggling with things that are self-inflicted, but I am trying my best to help him through this struggle. I do appreciate your prayer!
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I am so very sorry, this makes it extra difficult, especially as a loving wife. I hope this works out soon, for both of you!
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Thank you so much Wendi! It breaks my heart to see him struggle, but I will always stand beside him. He will do well for a while, then relapse with the struggles. I do appreciate your kindness and support!
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I am so very sorry Alyssa, I wish there was something I could do to help.
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Oh my dear sweet friend, you have no idea how much your kindness means to me. So many people are quick to judge, but you are so wonderful!
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no judging! almost everyone struggles with something……..just please know I am cheering both of you on in my small part of the world.
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You are a real blessing to everyone Wendi! I feel so lucky to have you as a friend and want you to know how much I appreciate you!
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i feel the same way about you!
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Thank you sweetie, great minds think alike!!
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🙂
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