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I have heard, just like all of you, a lot of really dumb and sometimes hurtful things through my years of chronic illnesses. I am going to share the medical suggestions that I can remember, but I should have kept a running list, it would have filled volumes.
You are going to stop having children because you are ill? That is biblically wrong, you should have as many as you are given.
You are going to have surgery to correct a congenital issue? You need to try these drops first; my friend sells them, they are all-natural, and cured her from food allergies.
You are not praying hard enough to be cured.
You are paying for the sins of your parents.
You are paying for the sins of your forefathers; you should go listen to this pastor’s seminar on how to pray correctly to break the curse.
You do not truly believe that you will be healed, so therefore you won’t be.
If you worked full-time you wouldn’t have time to think about your problems and you would feel better.
You should spend more time away from home and your family.
You need to go vegan.
You need to go vegetarian.
You need to go paleo.
You need to go gluten-free.
You need to go dairy-free
You need to adopt a raw diet.
You need to eat fermented foods.
You need to do a month long juice cleanse.
You need to go on a liquid diet.
You need to do the GAPS diet.
Essential oils in the proper combination can cure all ailments.
Get your chakras lined up properly.
Infrared sauna can cure your sicknesses.
Colonics eventually cures all sicknesses.
Vitamin C IV therapy cures everything.
If you didn’t worry so much your body would heal itself.
Have you tried mediating more often?
Your illnesses are all in your head.
Have you tried yoga?
You need to exercise more.
Ozone therapy will cure you.
Yea, I know how you feel having a chronic illness, I had a lot of morning sickness while pregnant. You just need to rest more.
You should get rid of all indoor pets.
Visualize health and then you will be healthy.
Massage therapy will get rid of all the toxins stored in your body leading to a cure.
Acupuncture would heal you.
A RIFE machine has codes to cure all illnesses.
Using an infrared sauna cures everything if used regularly.
You should stop taking all meds and supplements.
You should start taking more meds and/or supplements.
You are taking the wrong meds and/or supplements.
You should check yourself into a good hospital and have them run all kinds of tests so you really know what is going on
You just need to learn to push through it, it makes you stronger.
Please know that I do NOT think any of the above suggestions are in and of themselves bad. In fact, I think many of the ideas could be beneficial to some, in addition to an appropriate health care plan. I have just found it amazing that people, having no experience with chronic illness themselves, feel they are the ones to give the best advice.
I would love to hear the stupid(est!) advice you have been given.
Until next time…..
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Thank you so very much!
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Great post, and so true! I have shared your link on PainPals regular feature Monday Magic Inspiring Blogs for You! Claire x
https://painpalsblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/16/monday-magic-inspiring-blogs-for-you-43/
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Thank you so very much for your kind words, I am truly humbled.
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The Salt Lamp is healing and You’re not depressed, you’re just lazy plus, Meditation is a cure.
I share what helps me but, it may not help you.
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I smiled when I read your comment. I actually have a salt lamp on my side table, thanks for the reminder, I need to turn it on! Thank you for taking the time to comment.
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My blood started boiling reading through your article. I think most of the examples you’ve listed, have also been used as personal advice to me. Do we maybe know the same people???🙄
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Isn’t it amazing that people can give such awesome advice?! I am so sorry you to had to hear the same stupid suggestions!
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
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Pingback: How I deal with unsolicited advice……. | Simply Chronically Ill
I love this post! I know people are trying to be helpful (or are they?) but for the love of god, I sometimes want to say shut the he#& up already! Makes me a bit crazy at times. While this isn’t advice, I regularly get people saying “you don’t look sick” or “my Aunt Jenny has MS too and she’s been in a wheelchair forever! She’s not doing great”. Really people, that’s NOT what I need nor want to hear!
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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for stopping by. I am sorry you have had these awful experiences too. People are so insensitive and can be down right mean. I have also heard the “you don’t look sick” hundreds of times too and most of the time I am at a loss for words. I just keep telling myself, people absolutely cannot understand unless they live with a chronic illness or three. Keep up the good fight! And thank you for sharing your story with others.
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I enjoyed hearing, “It’s always something new with you. And your family.” By the way, you stated somewhere that you are not a writer. I beg to differ. You are quite a good writer.
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Don’t you just love people’s stupid remarks! You wonder who and the heck taught them their outstanding compassion?!
Ah, thank you so much for the very, very generous compliment and for stopping by and commenting. All are super appreciated!
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Oh, has nobody recommended the FODMAP diet? If not, I’m surprised. My daughter stayed on that forever and darn near shriveled away. Works for some I’m sure but was overkill for her.
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Wow! I have never heard of this before………….but I am now curious what it is and will look it up to quench my curiosity. Hope your daughter is better now that she is off it.
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She modified it as she added foods back in. Now she is vegan with limited gluten. My oldest daughter has Celiac. She was 21 before she finally got her diagnosis. Changed her world. Before that she was labled as having IBS and told to eat whole grains and take Metamucil. Baddddd advise. Got sicker and sicker. Now at 28 she’s much better and hardly misses gluten. Can make almost anything except Krispy Kreme donuts and Pillsbury flakey biscuits.
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I am so happy to hear that she is doing much better!!!!! And sounds as if she has become a great cook!
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FODMAP is about not eating food that ferment in your gut.
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That is very interesting……….I had never heard of it before. Thank you for the information.
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By the way, my son, one of our 21-year-old triplets has Chiari I malformation. Thought you’d find that connection interesting.
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I am very, very sorry to hear that. It is a whole lot of no fun. I pray he is doing ok……………
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Amazingly he rarely has problems anymore. When he’s sick or feverish his senses are all greatly exacerbated but mostly he’s fine.
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I am so happy to hear this!
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I wrote about that in a post called “stupid words” people can say the darnedest things!
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It is truly amazing what people will say to you. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.
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Ohhh lovely, I bet there are more your mind has forgotten, in an effort to protect you. Some folk feel the need to fix and speak without thinking. They feel uncomfortable, so it’s their discomfort they are looking to ease. It’s a gift to just be with someone and to let them be. It also takes courage to say what is needed sometimes, as there’s a rare few that can make it about you, without bringing their own stuff into the mix! Wrapping you in soft hugs. X
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Thank you so very much Jane for taking the time to stop by and comment. You are so very correct, when you find that special someone(s), the friendship(s) is a gift from God. May you feel blessings today that bring you smiles 🙂
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